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Will men feel a check if they are made aware of the trauma of molestation by the women they love, and stop them from molesting any other women?
Yesterday while, talking with a very close friend (a guy), we started discussing about the kind of problems a girl has to face while travelling by public transport. I was telling him the things a girl has to go through. Most of these things happen when they are at a young age; someone groping them, touching them indecently – at times the girls are so young that they do not even understand what is happening with them.
The trauma a girl goes through, crying for hours after such an incident. And every girl probably has faced god knows how many such ugly incidents.
Once I started earning I gave up travelling in buses completely. Now, I do not even remember when was the last time I travelled in a crowded bus. And the only reason being the behavior and actions of co-passengers.
While discussing all this with him, I suddenly realized that I have hardly ever discussed these matters with any guys. Not even my father, my brothers or any boyfriend, just my husband. And then it got me thinking.
Maybe we girls should discuss this kind of incidents with our fathers, brothers, boyfriends. Narrate the incident, tell them about the pain, the trauma, the humiliation we feel without it being our fault. We should make the men in our lives aware of what we go through almost every day of our lives going to school, college, or office.
Every guy who touches a girl indecently is someone’s brother, father, boyfriend, husband. Maybe if they hear of their own sister, daughter, wife, whom they love, facing such incidents and seeing their pain first hand, maybe something will change. Maybe the next time they think of touching someone else they will remember the pain faced by their loved ones, and think twice before doing it.
Society cannot change unless we change ourselves first. Instead of quietly suffering, we should raise our voice, right when the incident is happening and also after reaching home. Share your pain with the men / boys who love you, care about you. It might help to change someone and make them protective of another girl who is their co-passenger.
Published earlier here.
Image source: local trains crowd by Shutterstock.
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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