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“Your husband takes care of your every need, be it food or clothing. Even he takes you out often. Why are you whining, then? You have to bear with him.”
Trigger Warning: Suicidal Ideation and threat, psychological abuse, unsupportive parents.
“There’s enough mayhem everywhere. Don’t you dare disturb the peace of your house?” My mother hung off her phone.
Now, the context: I was about to commit suicide. Fed up with the daily drama in the house, and the provoked husband’s diatribes and emotional abuse, I had assumed ending my life would be easier and better.
But being a responsible man and husband, he informed my mother. If situations got worse, he might land up in jail. And, everyone knows, how sincere and lovable he is!
My mother had iron-handedly stopped every healthy communication with me a long time back, ever since I had complained about my monstrous relatives. Unhealed childhood trauma made me an introvert. Hence, expecting her to say a few words in my favour at this stage, was futile.
That evening, my parents came over to my place. I knew what was going to ensue. I chose to remain as silent as a stone.
And so, she started. A few pointers include:
And, the final and most promising one, according to her,
For every piece of advice, I had my answer. However, when she had never recognized my feelings, I preferred to be mum. So, I blankly smiled, and let her leave.
Healthy communication is needed to maintain a relationship. Perhaps, since I shared an unhealthy bond with my mother, I had opened up to my husband. At the start, I would speak about everything. Gradually, I discerned, how he relished making fun of them.
And, so, again, I began to chew my own words.
Suppression became another self. Things turned sour post-childbirth. And, after the Corona outbreak, when the in-laws made him their puppet, I knew, what exactly was going to be in my kitty.
However, I wasn’t a sponge that I could go on tolerating such a nuisance. I openly revolted. I pinpointed their harassment. And, even if I overlooked the in-laws, didn’t I deserve the basics of dignity from my husband?
Why should he play with my feelings as a condition to provide me with food and clothing?
Today, nothing has changed.
I continue to ignore and pray.
Just one genuine support from anyone in this world, especially financial (for I have lost faith in the emotional one) can surely put me in a better position in life.
If you or anyone you know is feeling suicidal, here are some of the helplines available in India. Please call.
Aasra, Mumbai: 022 27546669
Sneha, Chennai: 044 2464 0050
Lifeline, Kolkata: 033 2474 4704
Sahai, Bangalore: 080 25497777
Roshni, Hyderabad: 040 66202000, 040 66202001
Image source: Still from Jaya Jaya Jaya Jaya Hey, edited on CanvaPro
I have been a school teacher and a content writer. I am now a full time mother to a hyper active toddler. I try to relax myself by writing, reading, singing or listening to music. read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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