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Emotional abuse starts slow. A little jealousy, a little control, a little fight that goes out of control until you are down to a situation where you end up on your knees!
Down in the dumps? Unable to fight? Know that it’s just a state of mind. Be fierce. Just like you would be when faced with a life-threatening situation. Emotional abuse in a marriage is just as life-threatening as anything else.
I had been watching the series ‘Maid’ on Netflix. And I was startled to see how Alex, the character who had been facing emotional abuse, initially refused to accept that she is going through subtle domestic violence.
The episode starts with her leaving the house in the middle of the night with her daughter, because her husband, in a fit of fury, hit the wall behind her and threw a glass bowl at her.
When she ran away, she saw that her daughter had a piece of glass lodged in her baby hair.
Alex when in a domestic violence shelter for women told a friend that she was not abused. She was not hit. It was the wall that her husband hit. But what came as an eye-opener was when her friend said – ‘So what is a threat? What is rage? Is emotional abuse not domestic violence?’
And here comes the creepiest part of the revelation, when the friend says – ‘Before they bite, they bark, and before they hit your face, they hit the wall behind you.’
Domestic violence grows slowly like mold on the wall. No one would ever tell you on the first date, I will punch your face eventually.’
It got me thinking, how many times have women accepted unacceptable behaviour in a fit of rage, as a mistake, and then it became a way of life for them?
Emotional abuse starts slow. A little jealousy, a little control, a little fight that goes out of control until you are down to a situation where you end up on your knees, and it flourishes fully into domestic violence.
Making up, being sorry after unacceptable behaviour is not enough. What is enough is a non-repetition of abusive behaviour.
The world is rigged against women, and so is marriage. The girl leaves her house, she adjusts elsewhere, she leaves her job, and stays jobless longer because she becomes a mother and by the time she is out of her responsibilities she’s too drained out to even do something for herself.
The corporate world also prefers women who have not taken a break for motherhood. I mean, are you guys even human or camouflaged humanoids?
The point of the article is, do not accept abusive behaviour. It is not okay. Even if it’s a mistake, a fit of rage, it’s not okay.
Remember, it does not start on the first date, or the first few years of marriage, but when it does start, make sure you draw the line.
Domestic violence victims are often slowly manipulated into situations over a period of time, hence walk out when the partner shows first signs of abuse, just like the film Thappad.
Or you never know you might just someday need to run from your house to safety in the middle of the night, like Alex, with a child with a shining shard of broken glass in her hair.
Image source: Still from Ammu, edited on CanvaPro
A Social Media Content Writer by profession. A writer by heart. A genuine foodie. Simple by nature. Love to read, create paintings and cook. Have impossible dreams. At the moment, engaged in making those dreams read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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