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Valentine's Day has been declared as a 'cow hug day', so now what do we do to ensure we get to celebrate it anyway?
Valentine’s Day is almost here. The day to woo the person you love, and shower them with chocolates, roses, gifts, and even poems.
Unlike other countries, in India, this day is not just a lovie-dovie day. It’s a day filled with plenty of drama, too. Right from pushing lovebirds out of parks, getting offended at their un-sanskari PDA, ripping Valentine’s day cards, and setting them on fire. We have all witnessed it.
I thought I had seen it all too. The drama, I mean. Alas, I was living in a bubble, it just burst today with a bellowing Moo! Trust me, the news was no moo-sic to my ears…
Apparently, Valentine’s Day is a thing of the past, says the government! A better way to spread positive energy and collective happiness is to celebrate the day as “Cow Hug Day.” So, apparently, instead of wooing your lover, you gotta moo the cow!
Hey… I am not amoosed at the idea! And, I am sure, neither are my cow-mates.
For one, what about consent? Do the cows want to be hugged by random strangers? Of course, they would run far away from the groping hands. Wouldn’t it result in udder chaos?
The government might have to beef up security.
Imagine this scenario.
A cow is returning home, mooing happily after having spent the day grazing paper and all the plastic the loving hoomans have thrown everywhere. It’s pasture (past her) bedtime when she settles down. Much to her annoyance, hairy hands reach out to hug her. Do you think, she’s gonna like this udderly-botherly love? Nah! Her gut would definitely churn.
She might not like being bull-ied. And might just butcher her hooman un-lover. It’s high steaks after all!
I don’t think the cows are ready to say moo-chas grass-ias to this initiative. They can smell bull from miles afar!
Honestly, IMO, the government should stop being such a cow.
Image source: a still from the film Abodh and from YouTube
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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