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Has anyone ever experienced this feeling of momentary blankness, an involuntary paralysis, when faced with a horrific, unknown situation? As if frozen.
Trigger Warning: This deals with rape, gender based violence, extreme reactions to trauma, and may be triggering to survivors.
Why do many victims of sexual violence not react? have you given some real thought to this question?
“If she didn’t scream and didn’t run away, it’s because she wanted it too.” “Why didn’t she report it earlier?” “It took her so long to go to the police. Really?” “Just because I dumped her, she is painting me as an abuser!”
Wrong conclusions. And the victim is discredited.
We react to a threat with one of 4 things – fight, flight, freeze, fawn.
The absence of resistance on the part of a victim of sexual violence is often confused with consent, when it is clearly a ‘freeze’.
It is necessary to clarify that sexual violence is a potentially traumatic experience.
Has anyone ever experienced this feeling of momentary blankness when faced with a horrific, unknown situation?
In the above context, and despite the expectation that victims of violence will fight or flee, many report a feeling of involuntary paralysis. As if they were frozen. And they don’t scream, they don’t move, they don’t fight, and they don’t try to escape. They remain quiet and rigid in the face of the aggressor. “Many victims report a feeling of instinctive paralysis. As if they were frozen.”
On the other hand, many victims of sexual violence could manifest so-called dissociative reactions, when part of their mind or body becomes separated (dissociated) from the consciousness of the person as a whole. When the victim feels very scared and cannot physically escape from a situation, they may dissociate.
These are just a few examples of how victims explain this dissociative process, which turns out to be a defence and survival mechanism. It helps the person deal with the traumatic event. However, these reactions can become especially problematic when they start to occur in response to other events or certain memories. Yes, that happens too. Example: In the case of losing a close person, a certain disconnection with reality may take place.
It is important to emphasise that the reaction to an extreme situation such as sexual violence depends on several variables, and we cannot, therefore, expect it to be the same for all people. Thus, rather than focusing on what the victim “should” or “could” have done, confusing the absence of a fight-or-flight response with informed consent, we must actively listen to the narrative that each victim brings to us, necessarily unique and singular, without value judgments or blame.
And always avoiding asking the ill-fated question, “So, why didn’t you scream or run away?”
Image source: pixabay
Bindiya is a linguist and works for a diplomatic mission in New Delhi. She is a published author, reluctant poet, passionate bibliotherapist and a happiness harbinger. Her heart beats in her community-building volunteer organization - “ read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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