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'Kanyadaan' is a Sanskrit word that means giving away the daughter. But is she a commodity? if we have Kanyadaan, why not Putradaan also?
‘Kanyadaan’ is a Sanskrit word that means giving away the daughter. But is she a commodity? If we have kanyadaan, why not putradaan also?
In Indian marriages, it is an extremely emotional moment for the bride’s parents to perform the kanyadaan ritual. I nurture immense respect for some rituals that were carried out by our ancestors and are practiced even today.
However, the ritual of ‘Kanyadaan’ highlights the dominance of patriarchal society. What is the need for a custom that glorifies giving away your daughter as if she is a commodity?
Kanyadaan has been of paramount importance in a Hindu marriage, irrespective of the region you belong to. ‘Kanyadaan’ is a Sanskrit word that means giving away the daughter. It is a ritual in which the father of the bride gives away his daughter to the groom.
The groom is considered an incarnation of Lord Vishnu, while the bride is considered Goddess Lakshmi, the deity of wealth and prosperity. Hence, the performance of this ritual ‘forgives’ the sins of the bride’s parents.
The father places the daughter’s hand in the groom’s hand followed by mantras recited by the wedding priest. Since the meaning of the ritual is giving away the daughter, it is always an emotional moment for the bride’s parents and relatives.
The name and the bizarre necessity of this ritual confuses me. It brings so many questions to my mind. Does kanyadaan exemplify the bride as a commodity? Is she no longer her parent’s daughter and has no rights in her childhood home?
Does society then cut off her identity as a daughter? Why is the groom considered superior to the bride? A bride can also be self-reliant and independent!
In earlier days, parents adhered to this ritual as women in those times lacked education and exposure. They were dependent on their husbands for financial sustenance. They had less connectivity with their parent’s homes due to the lack of communication and transport facilities. So, the bride’s parents always relied on the groom’s family for taking care of their daughter.
Nevertheless, these days with modern beliefs and women being relatively liberated and self-reliant, following the same rituals hampers their self-esteem. Following centuries old rituals in modern times upholds and encourages the patriarchal thought process.
The beauty behind rituals rests in their equality. These rituals can also be blended a bit so that the values remain explicit and display the beauty of equality in marriage.
Marriage is a bond between two people who take oaths to live their life together. So, I believe that ‘putradaan’ should also become a ritual, wherein the groom’s parents perform the same ceremony for their son.
It will then exhibit that the parents on both sides will give away their children to each other. A son also becomes a son-in-law and will take equal responsibility as a daughter takes when becoming a daughter-in-law. In this way, we will not only preserve the auspicious ritual but also demonstrate the beauty of marriage equality.
Image source: Dia Mirza wedding pics from Instagram
Sagarika Sahoo has done MBA and M.Com and pursued her career as a lecturer. She had short term experience in IT companies as a finance professional as well. She is now a full-time read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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