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Although he might not even know the word 'feminist', Papa was the #FeministFather who believed in me, from the very beginning.
Although he might not even know the word ‘feminist’, Papa was the #FeministFather who believed in me, from the very beginning.
My father is a retired army official, and I grew up without seeing him for most of my childhood; when I was a kid, I didn’t knew much about him as a man or father as he was mostly far away from us on duty. However, during my college days, he got retired and came home forever.
Initially, it wasn’t easy for both of us to live with each other comfortably. He was rigid, strong headed, and a highly disciplined man like all army officials, and I was in my early twenties.
But gradually, everything fell into place.
When I used to see my friends’ fathers, I started admiring my father more. He never stopped me from going on trips with unknown travel groups or even solo. I changed my studies and career choices often until I was finally sure about writing. He was always supportive of my decisions.
While my mother was always emotionally available for me, my father was there to make me confident and strong. I fell many times in my personal and professional life, but he never pitied me or scold me. He never showed his emotions but was always standing besides me like a rock.
After graduation, once he asked me to prepare for government jobs, and I denied. He never asked me about it again, as he knew I had different interests.
When I was working, he never said “we don’t accept our daughter’s money”. I loved to do little things for my parents and they were always appreciative.
During our family trips, I learned about his adventurous side too. He is fun and loves trying new things.
When I used to bring my male friends home for drinks, he never said no. In fact, sometimes he offered his own drinks to my friends.
Once in a while he used to ask me about my savings to make sure I am financially independent. When I needed money, he never said no.
In my late twenties, when all my friends were getting hitched and having babies, he never asked about my marriage plans.
I chose my life partner online (from matrimonial site) without his knowledge. When I introduced him to my dad, he accepted him smilingly, even though he was from different caste (I am from Uttarakhand and he is Bengali from Assam).
When I told him I wanted a court marriage and not the lavish and useless one, he agreed instantly.
Now when I visit my parents with my partner/husband, we three drink together. He never judged me for being a girl.
He always let me be who I am without saying a word.
Even if he was struggling financially, he never said no when I demanded anything, whether it was an expensive toy in childhood, or my first scooter in college.
He taught me riding a bike too, for which I will always be grateful.
All these years, I learnt how loving and caring he is. Although he doesn’t even know the word feminist, he was the #FeministFather from the very beginning.
In the world of patriarchy and bias, I was lucky to get a father who believed in me.
I have never said it to you in person, but I really love you Papa. You are the best in the world.
Image source: a still from the film Gunjan Saxena
I am on the Women's Web because I believe in gender equality and feminism. Being a writer, I find it a wonderful platform where I can share my thoughts, ideas and views with like- read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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