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Don't single people deserve rest over the weekend too? Why do we assume that their weekends need to be filled up?
Let me ask you esp. the ‘plurals’ what do you do over the weekend? Do all you can, to relieve the stress of the week gone by and prepare oneself for the coming week. True? False?
Why do we reco,mmend the opposite to a single person? A well-meaning friend once said to me while I was discussing boring, alone weekends, “Take up a hobby, you love photography join a course. Take your camera and head out at 6:00am to take lovely shots. Don’t keep your mind idle”. Sounds fair, right?
When I asked him what does he do over the weekend, quick came the reply, “I chill dude, I am usually so tired from the week. Once in a while Soniya and me go for a movie in the afternoon etc. But mostly we just relax. Get some sleep.”
And once he had finished the sentence he realized how wrong his initial advice was.
He strongly believed there is THAT singles world where single people don’t look forward to a weekend. Where the single person does not need the restful peace, 2 days of the week.
All that one is confiding in you is that weekends spent alone sometimes get boring. Of course that happens to married people too. It is just about the ratio of the number of times.
Here are the possible replies:A simple “I know what you mean” would have done instead of the albeit friendly but thoughtless advice. All that your single friend needs to know is someone understands how it feels to be alone over the weekend. They too need to vegetate with a bowl of popcorn watching a comic movie but it would be nice to share that experience. Crack jokes about the movie. Share the popcorn and once in a while get a nice hug.
Offer a set of movies or books you have recently read and you think your single friend would enjoy. Give the person something to look forward to.
Why not invite the person over once in a while to chill together? Single people are fun. Their experiences are different from yours but their world isn’t. They will be so happy to be around loving friends. And you won’t mind if they join you for that movie or spa visit.
Better still go over for a weekend. I am certain your single friend will be very glad to be your host and pamper you. That would be their recreation and will go back to work with a good feeling.
If the person is looking for a companion try to help them find one. Weekends are a good time to date. Set them up on a lunch/coffee date. If nothing they will have a good time, make a new friend and thank you for it. Build some good karma come on!
Don’t be patronizing. Single people are happy people. They have weekends when they crave for company and you have days when you just need to be alone. Only difference is that being alone is an easier thing to do. One could just take off to the gym, dive into a book or tell the partner (if he/she is understanding) that they need space this weekend.
I love my weekends just like any ‘plural’. Don’t make me feel like I do not deserve one by asking me to do things that take so much effort out of me that I will go back to work feeling there wasn’t a weekend to this week.
pic courtesy: public-domain-image.com
The power of stories to inspire change made me turn into a storyteller. I write on 2 topics that need a very clear shift in attitude – ‘Being single in India’ & ‘Stigma attached to mental read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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