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With its shiny new cover, patriarchy still lingers in the society. It just comes in the garb of 'progressiveness,' and makes you wonder if all your efforts were in vain.
With its shiny new cover, patriarchy still lingers in the society. It just comes in the garb of ‘progressiveness,’ and makes you wonder if all your efforts were in vain.
Gone are the days when we would put the TV on mute during a commercial break. Because commercials are every where now. Halfway through your song, every now and then during a video and half the time on TV. The way they are made has changed drastically too. Progressiveness(?) has crept in here.
In one of the many path-breaking ads, the bahu initially wears a short dress to attend a family gathering. And her husband asks her if she would be “dressed like that.” So, she then puts on pants, a coat and wraps around a scarf. Her shocked in-laws ask her if she would go “dressed like that” and ask her to be herself.
In another viral advertisement, the message is to stand by tough moms. They do so with the help of a tough patriarch FIL who shushes the women of the house, even when you have a husband who has zero respect for you.
Well, all this appears really progressive. This one and many others with the same intention. I don’t have a problem with in-laws being loving and progressive. But is this our idea of an ideal society now?
If the answer is yes, it’s disappointing. Because this is how it all started. This will just be round two of patriarchy. It will turn around again, after all the efforts and agony.
Even today we come across dowry deaths and female infanticide in our country. The root of all evil is the belief that the boy child is superior simply because he stays with his parents. And the girl is still considered paraya dhan. That is exactly why we go to lengths to have a boy child. They are the insurance, you see!
The system was started with good intentions. Women didn’t earn. And property was divided between sons and the daughters’ share was given during marriage. The daughter-in-law was supposed to be treated like a daughter, our own daughters were to be kept at a distance.
But we have progressed on that too. We can not have as many children, but cannot afford to have just girls either. So we took shortcuts and started killing the girls in other ways. It all boils down to the same thing- have a son. He will take care of you.
Does it have to hold true in this time and age? Is it a one way road where the girl leaves her parents and the boy is privileged to live with his parents?
Should the girl feel lucky that her in-laws are sweet? And if they are not, try to win over them with wit, charm and patience like every TV serial heroine? Should all the girls stop doing whatever they do and just pray that her in-laws’ would be sweet to her?
Progressiveness is not in the DIL or MIL or both wearing short skirts, the DIL drinking alongside her FIL or things like that. Progressiveness is accepting that both sets of parents need love and care. And that girls are actually equal to boys.
Picture credits: Still from Hindi TV series Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai
A mom who loves childhood, A woman who hopes for equality and a curious soul trying to find a meaning in everything read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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