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Despite being a loving mom, this author hit her son, for the 1st time, as a reaction. She ponders on why she did it, and brings us some valuable points to think about.
I am known to be that mother whose focus is completely on enjoying every second of motherhood. I won’t say that I am the perfect mother, because no mother can be perfect. There is no rule book, or a book which teaches you how to be the best mother.
You are learning all the time and trying hard to be a role model for your kid. It is a continuous process. I know it is impossible to be a parent and not lose your temper. There will be so many occasions when you completely loose it. I have been in those kind of situations more than a 100 times, but I have never laid a hand on them.
But, yesterday I hit my son for the first time. I was on my evening walk and I saw him hit his friend. I did not give him a chance to explain, I just hit him. I am feeling miserable since yesterday. I am trying to analyze my behavior. There is no amount of logic or explanation that can rationalize my behavior.
I am not a violent person. I don’t behave like this.
I read somewhere that ‘if you never heal from what hurt you, you will bleed on who did not cut you’.
Was I taking out my frustration on my him?
No, I don’t want to find excuses. There is nothing more pathetic and sad than a parent who teaches a child not to hit by spanking him/her.
He explained why he behaved in that way, and I understood that he was pushed to his limits. I told him that he should move away from those situations and hitting is a bad choice. He said sorry and that he would never do it again, and slept peacefully in my arms. But I couldn’t sleep.
Parenting is full of choices, but yesterday, at that moment, I made a wrong choice. I am meant to be his protector. It is impossible to undo what I have done. I will never forgive myself.
He woke up with a happy smile today. When he met his friends at the bus stop, they were very cheerful and happy together. How I wish I could be like them and just forget the episode.
I am just venting out by writing. Not that it makes me feel less guilty but I will definitely never ever repeat what I have done yesterday.
For all moms who are just like me, if, any time you are in the same situation like me, just take a deep breath, think, but don’t hit.
A version of this was published here earlier.
Image source: shutterstock
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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