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In the old days, women were deprived of personal and political rights. They were considered more like property. Gradually, several voices were raised to address this issue. This led to the emergence of feminism. This ideology advocated that women must be equally respected for their experiences, identities, knowledge, and strengths. It rejected the belief that women are the second sex or less deserving beings. Today, women are empowered as full legal humans with the right to vote, property, and employment. They have equal access to jobs, and education, and are considered equal partners in a relationship. They enjoy all kinds of freedom. They can dress as they want, and travel as per their choice. However, discrimination based on gender is still present. Women are still struggling to attain equality at various levels and they have a steeper hill to climb than men. In many instances, women are still not considered as the first choice for superior or responsible roles and a gentle sexist culture still thrives on. What is surprising is that despite this discrimination, many progressive women nowadays do not want to get associated with the concept of feminism. They are outrightly rejecting this ideology and declaring publicly that they are not feminists. They feel that they do not need to be empowered because they are not weak. Victimizing women everywhere does not make any sense. Most importantly, they do not hate men and like to have a family. They consider feminism to have transformed into more of an extremist cult to pass on misinformation and hate. I belong to a small town situated in the northeastern part of India. Back home, I got many chances to closely observe the lives of girls from conservative families. Girls from such families were not educated enough and were married off at younger ages. They were raised in such a way that they like doing household chores such as cooking and taking care of the family. They dreamt of having a family with a loving husband and kids. For them, marriage is like a dream come true. Similarly, many educated girls who married, some with their chosen life partners opted to be a homemaker. As per feminist ideology, career-oriented women do not like to be a homemaker. Feminism considers women opting for traditional roles as weak which is not true. Emma Watson, actress and activist says that feminism is all about freedom and giving women choices. Therefore, considering women to be traditionally feminine enjoying makeup or shopping as inferior ones deviates from the original meaning of feminism. This ideology restrengthens the misogynist assumptions that keeping up a home and taking care of children is not a real job. Housekeeping and childrearing are real jobs that require skills, time, and interest. It should be considered valuable for anyone who wants to pursue them. Other women who chose to continue work even after marriage had to be extremely strong in managing both work and home perfectly. Feminism does not applaud these strengths of women but always victimizes them. Hence, all the women who opted to have a family are either weak or inferior. In a way, the current feminist beliefs fail to raise the issues of all women and dissect women into several weaker sects. Moreover, it advocates flipping of gender roles. Feminism can never be a men vs women issue rather it should be an idea against all kinds of discrimination and prejudice.
Men and women are significant beings that coexist in this universe to create. Life is not a competition between men and women rather it is a collaboration. Flipping the gender roles and wanting women to take charge by making men accept the submissive role is equally unfair and unjust. It fails the main idea of feminism which is all genders should have equal rights and opportunities. The real concern should be getting rid of the assumption that women should strictly be feminine and men should be masculine. The roles should suit the interest and not gender. Real feminism should be about increasing the freedom for all so that they could find the roles that fit them the best and destroy remnants of sexism. This will make this world a better and easier place to live.
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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