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Normalize being unmarried in the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond. We need to cultivate respect in society irrespective of our relationship status.
“Oh my, you’re 39? You should have been married with grown-up kids by this time, but you are unmarried and single”
Well, the shock of others doesn’t shock me any more.
I don’t understand why people see my being single and unmarried as a curse. I am looked down upon as if I am ugly and no one wants to marry me. Not only that, but I am judged as though I am not loveable enough, and something medically is wrong with me.
I am asked the same “why” and it’s not even rhetorical. They – (the you) want answers, like right now, right here from me to their “whys”.
After a few minutes of staring at me, I realize they’re waiting for an answer, I trace back my thoughts. I’m tired of shrugging all the time and saying that it is what it is. It’s time to answer truthfully and bluntly.
“This is how and what the universe gave me in this lifetime, so I’m going to make the best of it.”
I talk about the things I have been doing with my life that are so fulfilling. That’s when I noticed how lucky I am to be proud of where I am. I hope other women like me are proud of their achievements and success, irrespective of their relationship status.
Apart from freedom, I get to spend more time on myself. I discovered my hidden truths and talents, built my career, helped many reach their goals, pursued other dreams and established stronger connections with anyone.
Being unmarried and single after a certain age does not mean I lack anything. Yes, I don’t have a romantic relationship. But that doesn’t equate to me being incomplete.
There’s nothing wrong with not having a male companion. I always tell myself that I was already a complete person the moment I was born.
No one is required to get married at a certain age. It’s not an ultimatum that I or you have to get married by age 21. There are no deadlines for when we would meet our partners.
The idea has come from patriarchy and orthodox thinking society. This is the wrong mindset, and we as women have to unite together to change it.
It is okay and let it be normal to be single and unmarried in the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond. We need to cultivate respect in society irrespective of our relationship status. Society must learn how to respect our decision to stay away from relationships and live our lives however we please.
No one has a right to question my choice. No one should be meddling in how I want to live my life or push me to do things which are against my mind and heart. Let me enjoy being myself. This is my life and This is who I am.
I am not in a hurry, despite 40 nearing me. I don’t see any rush because I trust in the divine timing of my life.
Image source: Dario Gaona, free and edited on CanvaPro
Dr. Romila Chitturi, started writing at the age of 13 when most of the people of her age during the 90's had other boring interests in life. She turned Blogger at 20, an Author read more...
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The plight of Indian women's mental health often goes unnoticed. Co-founders Vivek Satya Mitram and Pooja Priyamvada conceived the idea of the Bharat Dialogues Women & Mental Health Summit to address this.
Trigger Warning: This contains descriptions of mental health trauma and suicide, and may be triggering for survivors.
Author’s note: The language and phraseology used are not the author’s words but the terms and narrative popularly used for people living with mental illnesses, and may feel non-inclusive. It is merely for putting our point across better.
I have seen how horrifying was the treatment given to those with mental illness.
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
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