Why me to Why Not Me?

The phone hasn’t stopped buzzing since morning; congratulatory messages poured in like never before. Ultimately it was an honor that was slowly helping me in inching towards my dream-the dream of taking my home grown brand to a larger audience, perhaps a national presence. However amidst this hullabaloo a strange, uncanny feeling kept gnawing at my mind.  Is this what we call the imposter syndrome? Do most women feel that? At least, I do. Having won at the prestigious Orange Flower Awards 2023, I am not able to come to terms with the most coveted recognition. It is reverting me to a mental state that I had once developed in my childhood-I am perhaps never good enough or I do not deserve this.

Incessant calls, texts kept coming in however I was finding it extremely difficult to acknowledge all the compliments that were being showered on me. I kept battling this emotional turmoil and shared the same with a few close friends who kept assuring me that it was all but natural for most women to feel that way. Further to our discussions on this I realized how most women are prone to such thoughts wherein they are constantly forced to think themselves to be unworthy, not good enough or even they are plagued with ideas that they are being favored due to their gender.

Reports as recent as 2022 suggest that women and imposter syndromes go hand in hand; one might not be able to see it but imposter syndrome permeates through the workplace or otherwise. And this primarily stems from the fact that women are conditioned to believe that they need to hustle to be recognized or even celebrated. Even famous women — from Hollywood superstars such as Charlize Theron and Viola Davis to business leaders such as Sheryl Sandberg and even former First Lady Michelle Obama and Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor — have confessed to experiencing it. A Google search shows more than 5 million results and shows solutions ranging from attending conferences to reading books to reciting one’s accomplishments in front of a mirror.

More often than not as women when we are confronted with the question of “The most inspirational woman in our lives..” we generally look out rather than look in or look around. It’s amazing that we have the likes of Indra Nooyi, Malala Yousafzai or even the latest sensation Michelle Yeoh but we also have ordinary women around us who do extraordinary things every day, every moment-things that appear easy might not be so when you step into their shoes. From running a household to running one’s business to even being there for every member of the household it takes a lot. We do have such unsung SHEroes in our lives-our mothers, grandmothers, aunts, friends or other female relations. At times they may not tell you how difficult it is to hold the fort but they do it nonetheless.

As women we are so conditioned to believe that hustle or lose it we often fail to appreciate the little things we do to make things work out at home or even at work! Life’s always like either or situations-you lose some to gain some. But no one tells you or encourages you to aspire for everything. We are so immune to the idea that everything or everyone should come before us. It’s time to break such conventions even before breaking the so-called glass ceilings. It is time that we stand up for one another and celebrate even the smallest wins. It is time we tell each other how inspirational they are no matter what they do. It is time to celebrate ourselves not just for one day but everyday!