#CelebrateingtheRainbow at the workplace – share your stories of Pride!
22 is the age when a lot of us start feeling the pressure to have everything together. The truth is that you are simply too young and it's overwhelming.
22 is the age when a lot of us start feeling the pressure to have everything together. Be it on social media or by looking at people around us, the pressure is immense.
Three months into the year, I realized that I was simply not flourishing at the age of 22 (at the cusp of 23)
If the constant crying, heavy breathing, knot in the stomach, weight on the chest and numbness of spirit is any indicator, we are, quite frankly, currently lower than the standards for dating men.
I am one of the many middle-class brown children, who have been raised as performing monkeys. We have danced to Bollywood songs for nameless uncles at family gatherings and recited our mark sheet for neighbour aunties, things we did to make our parents happy.
Our worth has always been so closely tied to being able to perform. Many parents boast about their children doing well solely because “they are so quiet” or “they get good marks” or they “have their own business.”
There is little room for asking if we are truly okay, aside from appearing like we are.
The truth is that there’s no room for reassessing, breaking down or burning out.
If you feel any of the things, you will most likely not receive the support you need. Indian homes are dismissive of the concept of external help or help of any sort. In fact, it is more often seen as asking for too much.
In a performative daze, we interpret any hitches in our perfect façade as an inconvenience to others. We conceal, use spit and rusty pins to hold ourselves together or wait out our worst mental states. Using terms like depression or anxiety is lightly laughed at.
In our parents’ wise words, “I was once a child too, I never needed all that therapy stuff.”
Through self-flagellation, we hold ourselves accountable for being human. It’s never valued in so much we have achieved, as much is what is left to achieve. Nothing is ever enough and the whole, flaming, imperfect world slowly weighs down on our shoulders like a heavy school backpack.
Parents talk of our education, getting into the right college, choosing the right degree, the right life partner. Everybody keeps talking about the right path as if they have it all figured out.
The truth is that elders can only speak from the narrow experiences they have had, and how they reasonably survived in a world that doesn’t exist any more because it keeps changing.
How am I, at 22, supposed to know every right thing? How do I be the perfect performing monkey and keep everyone happy without compromising on my own?
I am old enough to be settled and married off as my parents would like and yet, I am young enough to be still studying for a degree, one I am not all sure I need.
Allow me to put things more in perspective for you. We are part of an infinite universe, alive for but a nanosecond, our existence is purely by chance with a dubitable creator in question. YOU DON’T HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING. In fact, you know nothing and probably won’t till the day you die.
You are not a person under construction, and neither is your life. What you are now and what you have has to be enough, no matter what anyone says. You don’t have to have it all together, be sorted, look and talk in stereotypes for others’ sake all the time.
If you feel ailed by mental or physical conditions, you are entitled to receive help from professionals who know better. Because guess what, you don’t and that’s okay.
Our parents may have suffered through neglect and rough times alone, but you, my friend, are not obligated to follow in their footsteps.
The world is ending soon, don’t let your last days be spent worrying about being good enough for others. You are enough and will always be.
I am Ria from New Delhi. I'm a student of political science and law and I have a lot to say apparently. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Can you believe this bloke compelled me to wear only saris - full time at home- till the eighth month of my pregnancy?! The excessive heat coupled with humidity made my life miserable.
Recently when I browsed an interesting post by a fellow author on this very forum I had a sense of déjà vu. She describes the absolutely unnecessary hullabaloo over ladies donning nighties and /or dupatta –less suits.
I wish to narrate how I was in dire straits so far wearing a ‘nightie’ was concerned.
I lived in my ultra orthodox sasural under constant surveillance of two moral guardians (read Taliban) in the shape of the husband’s mom and dad. The mom was unschooled and dim-witted while the dad was a medical practitioner. But he out-Heroded the Herod in orthodoxy.
My supervisor introduced me as a valuable member of the team, emphasizing my skills and contributions rather than focusing on my gender identity. This simple act set the tone for my experience in the workplace.
As a transwoman navigating the corporate world, I had encountered my fair share of discrimination and challenges. Transitioning without the support of my parents and having limited friendships in my personal life made the journey difficult and lonely. However, when I stepped into the office, something remarkable happened, I left behind the stress and negativity, embracing a space where I could truly be myself.
Joining the marketing team as a graphic designer, I was initially apprehensive about how my colleagues would react to my gender identity. But to my surprise, the atmosphere was welcoming and respectful from day one. My supervisor, Sarah, introduced me as a valuable member of the team, emphasizing my skills and contributions rather than focusing on my gender identity. This simple act set the tone for my experience in the workplace.
As I settled into my role, I discovered that my colleagues went out of their way to make me feel comfortable and included. They consistently used my correct name and pronouns, creating an environment where I could be authentically me. Being an introvert, making friends wasn’t always easy for me, but within this workplace, I found a supportive community that embraced me for who I truly am. The workplace became a haven where I could escape the stresses of my personal life and focus on my professional growth.
Please enter your email address