Why Should I Marry… Do I Need A Man To Complete Me?

Last Diwali, I bumped into my once best friend, Tara, after almost twenty years, in a busy shopping mall in Delhi. Somehow, we missed staying in touch after we had graduated from school.

Although she was in her late thirties, almost nothing had changed. Her facial features were the same; only she looked a little fuller. She was wearing a saree with matching pearl jewellery, while I was in a pair of jeans and a top. We hugged each other and couldn’t contain our excitement about meeting each other after such a long time.

I saw a packet of a major toy brand in her hand. “For your child?” I inquired. “Nope! For my nephew,” she replied as a matter of fact.

She said that after college, she went ahead with teacher’s training and is now a senior school teacher in a well-renowned school. I told her about my brief spell of work commitments in different cities and even countries, owing to my husband’s transferable job, and then finally settling down to become a stay-at-home mom. Then I went ahead to narrate the story of my inter-caste love marriage. We laughed our hearts out, remembering our senior school days when I had proclaimed that I would never ever walk the marriage path. She spoke about her mother’s sudden demise on a trip to Manali. I told her about how I had lost my father too a few years back.

“I am not married!”

Then I asked her about her husband and child. “I am not married!” came her reply. I was a bit taken aback, wondering if I had stepped on some sore nerve. “You don’t want to get married?” I asked her softly.

“What is the need? Do I need a man to complete me, you think so?” she asked me.

I was briefly taken off-guard. I mean, hasn’t this society normalised the idea of getting a job, marrying, and having children at a certain age? Societal norms have been laid since time immemorial, and it takes a lot of courage to deviate from them. I looked at her admiringly and then replied, “No, you don’t need a man to complete yourself since you are complete in yourself!”

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A life complete in herself

She then went ahead to narrate her daily routine. Every morning she would get up before the sun and go for a long walk in her neighbourhood. She loved the coolness of the air and the freshness of the morning dew. Going to the local market was one of her favourite activities. She enjoyed taking her time and getting to know the vendors, learning which ones had the most flavourful fruits and vegetables.

She found a great deal of satisfaction in her teaching job. The brimming faces and the inquisitiveness of young children would constantly keep her on a search for new teaching methods that would make learning fun.

At night Tara would spend time with her aging father while making sumptuous meals for them both. Occasionally when time permitted her, she would sit in her favourite reading chair and enjoy a book and a cup of tea or watch the stars from her open window.

She was content without a romantic partner

Looking at this woman, I realised that she is content leading the life she had chosen without the need for a romantic partner. She is happy living alone, knowing that she has the freedom to do whatever she wants. She enjoys being able to go about her life without interference and is able to relax and enjoy the simpler things in life because she doesn’t have to worry about someone else’s opinion. She knows that she can take care of herself and is happy with how her life is currently structured.

That day we parted with a promise to keep in touch.

There are many women like Tara who choose to remain single. Though they are without a partner, they are rarely ever lonely, as they are always surrounded by the love of their family and friends. Through their happiness, independence, and spirit, they create a life that complements and fulfills all their desires. And I truly respect and salute such women.

Editor’s Note: It’s the season of love, and especially romantic love. But what if you are not in a romantic relationship right now? We asked our readers to send in their #HappySolentine stories.

Image source: a still from the film Piku

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