When I Was Told ‘Males’ In The Family Don’t Talk To ‘Females’!

When I reached my in-laws place, my mother-in-law quickly made me wear a ‘ghunghat’ up to my nose... I headed an organisation with 500 men and here...!

My husband and I had a love marriage. For my marriage ceremony not a single woman had come from his side – there were only seven male relatives. (After all, inter-caste marriage was snubbed at and was unacceptable to his family and they didn’t invite guests). None of them talked to me either, during the marriage ceremony. The only connect was my touching their feet.

Since it was a day time marriage, after the ceremony, I assumed that I would move to my husband’s room for the night. Like every woman, I had great dreams about the first night. Though we knew each other well, during those days (It was in nineties), I considered having sex before marriage to be a taboo. Hence, my eyes were much dreamier.

However, I was shocked to realize that neither did any of his relatives suggest that I should move in with him, nor did my husband have the guts to ask them. As a result, I sat frustrated in my room with my mom and didn’t sleep.

Culture shock!

During my entire journey of more than a thousand kilometers (we also had to change train in between), did any relative ask me about my well-being.

When I questioned my husband, he told me that ‘males’ in the family don’t talk to ‘females’.

When I reached my in-laws place, my mother-in-law quickly made me wear a ‘ghunghat’ up to my nose and I was left wondering. I headed an organization where the majority was males (about 500 in number) and here, neither could I speak to them nor could I even see them.

Later, I could never feel connected to the ‘males’ of the family. I felt as if I was an untouchable made to sit in a room where all the windows were closed and the curtain of door to my room was covered by my mother-in-law even if it opened a bit. I no longer had any interest in any conversation with them, nor did I feel that they belong to my family.

About sex – well, I couldn’t have it for a long time! The frustration of the marriage night had taken its toll.

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About the Author


Neelam Saxena Chandra is an Engineering graduate from VNIT and has done her Post Graduation Diploma in IM&HRD and also in Finance. She has completed a summer course in Finance from London School of read more...

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