Starting A New Business? 7 Key Points To Keep In Mind.
When I reached my in-laws place, my mother-in-law quickly made me wear a ‘ghunghat’ up to my nose... I headed an organisation with 500 men and here...!
My husband and I had a love marriage. For my marriage ceremony not a single woman had come from his side – there were only seven male relatives. (After all, inter-caste marriage was snubbed at and was unacceptable to his family and they didn’t invite guests). None of them talked to me either, during the marriage ceremony. The only connect was my touching their feet.
Since it was a day time marriage, after the ceremony, I assumed that I would move to my husband’s room for the night. Like every woman, I had great dreams about the first night. Though we knew each other well, during those days (It was in nineties), I considered having sex before marriage to be a taboo. Hence, my eyes were much dreamier.
However, I was shocked to realize that neither did any of his relatives suggest that I should move in with him, nor did my husband have the guts to ask them. As a result, I sat frustrated in my room with my mom and didn’t sleep.
During my entire journey of more than a thousand kilometers (we also had to change train in between), did any relative ask me about my well-being.
When I questioned my husband, he told me that ‘males’ in the family don’t talk to ‘females’.
When I reached my in-laws place, my mother-in-law quickly made me wear a ‘ghunghat’ up to my nose and I was left wondering. I headed an organization where the majority was males (about 500 in number) and here, neither could I speak to them nor could I even see them.
Later, I could never feel connected to the ‘males’ of the family. I felt as if I was an untouchable made to sit in a room where all the windows were closed and the curtain of door to my room was covered by my mother-in-law even if it opened a bit. I no longer had any interest in any conversation with them, nor did I feel that they belong to my family.
About sex – well, I couldn’t have it for a long time! The frustration of the marriage night had taken its toll.
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The author has authored 70 books to her credit. She is a bilingual writer; writing in English and Hindi. She holds a record with the Limca Book of Records -2015 for being the Author having read more...
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If a woman insists on her prospective groom earning enough to keep her comfortable, she is not being “lazy”. She is just being practical, just like men!
When an actress described women as “lazy” because they choose not to have careers and insist on only considering prospective grooms who earn a lot, many jumped to her defence.
Many men (and women) shared stories about how “choosy” women have now become.
One wrote in a now-deleted post that when they were looking for a bride for her brother, the eligible women all laid down impossible conditions – they wanted the groom to be not more than 3 years older than them, to earn at least 50k per month, and to agree to live in an independent flat.
Most of my women clients are caregivers—as mothers, wives and daughters. And so, they tend to feel guilty about their ambitions. Belief in themselves is hard to come by.
* All names mentioned in the article have been changed to respect client confidentiality.
“I don’t want to take a pay cut and accept the offer, but everyone around me is advising me to take up what comes my way,” Tanya* told me over the phone while I was returning home from the New Delhi World Book Fair. “Should I take it up?” She summed up her dilemma and paused.
I have been coaching Tanya for the past three months. She wants to change her industry, and we have been working together on a career transition roadmap.
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