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Curiosity about sex and sexuality is natural and inevitable in teenagers, and banning sale of contraceptives will only make our kids secretive instead of safe.
We can assume that in a country with a population of over 140 crore human beings, there is a lot of sexual intercourse happening. In spite of this fact however, we as a nation are terribly squeamish of anything to do with sex. It is seen as something to be hidden away, something that must not be spoken about, specially before kids.
Some parents pretend as though sex doesn’t even exist and we are all born of immaculate conception! The recent news about the refusal to sell contraceptives to minors is actually a result of this attitude.
‘Can’t sell condoms, contraceptives to minors’https://t.co/WxI2ebllG3 — Bangalore Mirror (@BangaloreMirror) January 18, 2023
‘Can’t sell condoms, contraceptives to minors’https://t.co/WxI2ebllG3
— Bangalore Mirror (@BangaloreMirror) January 18, 2023
The Bangalore Mirror has reported that the Karnataka state’s Drugs Control Department has issued a diktat to pharmacy outlets. According to the report, the department has issued a circular to drug retailers not to sell contraceptives to minors.
The reason for this is said to be the recent incident where a random checking of bags in schools had surprise results. They were looking for cell phones and found contraceptives, cigarettes and so on in the bags of students as young as grades VII, IX and X. Now while parents would understandably be shocked, this may not necessarily be a cause for worry.
Smart! That will stop teens from havi.. oh wait, it won't!Never miss real stories from India's women.Register Now — Nishanth Saka (@nishanth_vishnu) January 18, 2023
Smart! That will stop teens from havi.. oh wait, it won't!
— Nishanth Saka (@nishanth_vishnu) January 18, 2023
As the tweet above points out, banning contraceptives is unlikely to be effective. During adolescence, with all those raging hormones, sexual curiosity is only natural. If a child wants to explore those new-found sensations, this is natural too.
While a lot of parents are exceedingly uncomfortable with the thought of their children as sexual beings, maybe this is a discomfort they need to overcome. It is unfortunate that most kids get their ‘sex education’, such as it is, from peers, porn and hearsay. They don’t get it from reliable and safe sources such as a parent or teacher or other trusted adult.
Minor girls getting married is not an issue for the government. But minors using condoms and contraceptives should be contained. What a ridiculous stephttps://t.co/KNDrJEWc3l — Parul Kulshrestha (@parul_kuls) January 19, 2023
Minor girls getting married is not an issue for the government. But minors using condoms and contraceptives should be contained. What a ridiculous stephttps://t.co/KNDrJEWc3l
— Parul Kulshrestha (@parul_kuls) January 19, 2023
What is unhealthy and unnatural is when kids bury their curiosity and burgeoning sexual awakening and hide it away as something to be ashamed of. It is unhealthy when sex is seen as something dirty; desire something to be ashamed of.
In particular, girls are made to feel a lot of shame and guilt around desire and sexual curiosity. It doesn’t help that so many families seem to repose family honour or ‘izzat’ in the chastity of their women.
Image source
Several studies, such as this American study have demonstrated the connection between lack of proper sex education and higher rates of teen pregnancy. Access to comprehensive sex education helps children satisfy their curiosity and encourages responsible behavior.
When parents don’t express revulsion or disapproval vis-à-vis sex, children are comfortable about approaching their own parents when they have a question about sex. This creates a safe space for kids and keeps the lines of communication open; all vital for a healthy attitude towards sex as well as a sense of self in children.
https://twitter.com/YesWeExistIndia/status/1615983218146283521
Banning is never a solution as we see repeatedly in the case of, say banned books or even alcohol prohibition. If people want to do something, they find ways to do it. Banning only serves to drive the activity underground; to be continued in unsafe and clandestine ways.
So, if the Karnataka drugs controller thinks that banning the sale of contraceptives will discourage teen sex, he is wrong. What he will end up doing is preventing safe teen sex.
Image source: a still from the film Gippi
A former lawyer, now freelance writer, fauji wife, mother, singer, knitter and lover of my own cooking, I have altogether too many opinions and too few convictions. The more I learn the more I am read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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