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She had prioritized him over herself. The worst part was that she didn’t even realize that she had lost her own individuality until they broke up.
Before I start, I want to clarify that it’s not my story. As I mentioned in one of my earlier pieces, after I got married a lot of people have started questioning my writing, so I thought why not give a prior notification?
I really love this new generation, honestly, they are fearless and straight forward. Yes, I am talking about my cousin; readers who regularly read my pieces will know her for sure by now as every time I talk to her, she says something that gives me goosebumps.
She is an independent, career-oriented girl and she is the kinda girl who needs space in a relationship too.
The last time we met, she mentioned her individuality in her relationship. I am not blaming or stereotyping anyone here, but we all can agree to the fact that many times in a relationship we lose our own individuality while giving comfort to the other person. She mentioned how at a certain point of time in a relationship everything revolved around him and she was nowhere.
Recently I watched a movie called ‘Marriage Story’ on Netflix, which talked about the same. I will not go into much detail about it, though I will have to give a small summary in order to explain my point. The wife is an actress by profession whereas the husband is the director. Here, the husband always talks only about his ideas and never gives importance to hers. Since I had a similar conversation with my cousin a day before, I could understand it more.
My cousin had been in relationships and she did mention that there have been times she prioritized him more than herself. His taste, his desires, his choices; she stated that the worst part was that she didn’t even realize that she had lost her own individuality until they broke up. Caring about your partner is not bad, but only caring about your partner is bad.
During these 3 decades of my life, the most important lesson I have learnt is value yourself, love yourself. It’s your sole responsibility to protect your individuality. As rightly said by Claude McKay, “If a man is not faithful to his own individuality, he cannot be loyal to anything”, (It applies to women too).
Published here first.
Image source: a still from the film Kabir Singh
Smriti Malhotra is a Delhi girl and an avid dreamer. She works at the Embassy of the Republic of Congo by profession but is a writer by passion. She began writing while at school and read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Menopause is a reality in women's lives, so Indian workplaces need to gear up and address women's menopausal needs.
Picture this: A seasoned executive at the peak of her career suddenly grapples with hot flashes and sleep disturbances during important meetings. She also battles mood swings and cognitive changes, affecting her productivity and confidence. Eventually, she resigns from her job.
Fiction? Not really. The scenario above is a reality many women face as they navigate menopause while meeting their work responsibilities.
Menopause is the time when a woman stops menstruating. This natural condition marks the end of a woman’s reproductive years. The transition brings unique physical, emotional, and psychological changes for women.
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