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It Had Become All About HIS Choice, HIS Needs, But What About Herself?

She had prioritized him over herself. The worst part was that she didn’t even realize that she had lost her own individuality until they broke up.

Before I start, I want to clarify that it’s not my story. As I mentioned in one of my earlier pieces, after I got married a lot of people have started questioning my writing, so I thought why not give a prior notification?

I really love this new generation, honestly, they are fearless and straight forward. Yes, I am talking about my cousin; readers who regularly read my pieces will know her for sure by now as every time I talk to her, she says something that gives me goosebumps.

An independent girl who needs her space

She is an independent, career-oriented girl and she is the kinda girl who needs space in a relationship too.

The last time we met, she mentioned her individuality in her relationship. I am not blaming or stereotyping anyone here, but we all can agree to the fact that many times in a relationship we lose our own individuality while giving comfort to the other person. She mentioned how at a certain point of time in a relationship everything revolved around him and she was nowhere.

Recently I watched a movie called ‘Marriage Story’ on Netflix, which talked about the same. I will not go into much detail about it, though I will have to give a small summary in order to explain my point. The wife is an actress by profession whereas the husband is the director. Here, the husband always talks only about his ideas and never gives importance to hers. Since I had a similar conversation with my cousin a day before, I could understand it more.

Women often prioritise the man over their needs

My cousin had been in relationships and she did mention that there have been times she prioritized him more than herself. His taste, his desires, his choices; she stated that the worst part was that she didn’t even realize that she had lost her own individuality until they broke up. Caring about your partner is not bad, but only caring about your partner is bad.

During these 3 decades of my life, the most important lesson I have learnt is value yourself, love yourself. It’s your sole responsibility to protect your individuality. As rightly said by Claude McKay, “If a man is not faithful to his own individuality, he cannot be loyal to anything”, (It applies to women too).

Published here first.

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Image source: a still from the film Kabir Singh

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About the Author

Smriti Malhotra

Smriti Malhotra is a Delhi girl and an avid dreamer. She works at the Embassy of the Republic of Congo by profession but is a writer by passion. She began writing while at school and read more...

24 Posts | 9,289 Views

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