Live-in Or Married, Aftab Could Have Killed; So Stop Shaming Shraddha!

Every day a fresh case of violence against women perpetrated by men comes to notice. Let's talk of what these violent men can do differently, instead of victim blaming.

Trigger warning: This speaks of intimate partner violence, and gaslighting and victim shaming of women, and may be triggering for survivors.

I respect the Government and the representatives working for all of us but some comments from the people who call themselves the government make me think about what mentality people have nowadays. Shraddha’s murder is very unfortunate but using it to generalize a personal issue is disgusting. Union Minister of State for Housing and Urban Affairs, Kaushal Kishore, referring to the horrifying Shraddha Walker’s murder case stated that “well-educated girls” are responsible for leaving their parents and hence being in a live-in relationship leads to crime.

God damn it, whether it’s live-in or court marriage, will the person change? I will not take Shraddha’s example, but if some person is violent or has the intention to kill, whether it’s live-in or marriage, the person will eventually do so.

STOP blaming the victim – usually a woman

As far as live-in relationships are considered in general, it has nothing to do with education. Incidents like this are really unfortunate but generalizing it doesn’t make sense at all. I come across so many headlines these days: woman killed for a cigarette, killed for chapati, killed for saying no to trip and many more unbelievable reasons.

Social media made a lot of memes on Shraddha Walkar but nothing on the killer Aftab Poonawalla, but why? “She did wrong, she left her parents, she was in a live-in relationship,” she…, she… – yes, all talk is about the woman, but why is there no reference of the culprit? Why is the victim being blamed? Just because she is a female and hence a soft target?

I know some men will comment, “Don’t become a feminist now!” Please understand that blaming a girl for everything is not justified, and as I have mentioned, if a person has a criminal motive, he will commit the crime irrespective of the relationship – whether married or in a live-in.

Parents do think for their children’s good always, their decisions are in the best of our interest, but their child is not wrong every time. And parents can’t shrug off responsibility to a child – after all, they decided to bring them into the world.

It is high time, we all should stop accusing women, start acclaiming them! Open your eyes to reality instead of being blind towards what’s happening around us.

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First published here.

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About the Author

Smriti Malhotra

Smriti Malhotra is a Delhi girl and an avid dreamer. She works at the Embassy of the Republic of Congo by profession but is a writer by passion. She began writing while at school and read more...

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