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Why Should My Opinions As A Writer Be Dictated By My Marital Status?

I began writing almost two decades ago and since then there has been no stopping. In the past, nobody questioned me about my writing, but today it is completely different because I am married.

Being a writer is not easy, and I realized this long ago, but today I can feel it every day. Whenever a thought pops up in my mind, it’s difficult to control myself from not writing it down.

I am sure all the writers reading this can understand my point, I seriously feel so restless until I puke everything on the paper that’s going on inside my mind.

I began writing almost two decades ago and since then there has been no stopping. Likewise, I have been writing poems expressing my happiness, sadness, anger, love, hatred, anxiety, frustration and much more.

In the past, nobody questioned me about my writing, but today it is completely different because I am married.

I understand that life changes after marriage and we women experience different emotions every day, but everything I write is not based on those emotions.

A conversation I didn’t want to participate in

An incident happened to me within just one month of marriage. I wrote a short poem about my mother and the day I published it I got a call from one of my father’s colleagues.

This is exactly her words to me, “Beta dekh bura mat maniyo but ab teri shaadi ho gayi hain and aise posts acche nahi lagte. Log pta nahi kya sochenge. Main tereko likhne se nahi rok rahi, par zara soch kar post kiya kar”.

Which thus translates as, “My dear, don’t mind my words, but now you are a married woman. Writing such posts doesn’t reflect well, people might judge you. I am not stopping you from writing, but please think before posting your write ups.”

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This is just a small part of the conversation that I mentioned here, though she explained it to me for a really long time over the call.

Why are my writings being questioned just because I am married?

I am not blaming her here, but I want to express how people’s thinking changes after marriage. I have my own life, too, apart from being a wife and daughter-in-law.

Yes, out of 100, 95% things might be related to marriage and the rest of the 5% is my own. Not just me, but one of my writer friends experienced the same situation after her marriage.

A writer has the full right to pen down whatever she feels.

Honestly, if you are not a writer, you can’t understand the anxiety bumbling inside when the thoughts remain unwritten. It is very important, especially in my case, to write as I attain mind and soul peace through writing. I feel a sense of stability after putting all my thoughts on paper.

Dear society, especially the ignorant aunties and educated uncles, please understand not everything is personal, sometimes it is just a normal happening around us.

Image Source: Los Muertos Crew, via pexels, free on Canva Pro

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About the Author

Smriti Malhotra

Smriti Malhotra is a Delhi girl and an avid dreamer. She works at the Embassy of the Republic of Congo by profession but is a writer by passion. She began writing while at school and read more...

24 Posts | 9,296 Views

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