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I got married this year, and we were having some conversation regarding my expectations, she said, “Didi I don’t have expectations, I have requirements”. I didn’t relate to it at first, but when she explained it to me, I was blown away with her words.
I met my cousin lately and yet again she said something which was really thought-provoking.
A lot of you related to the blog, Didi, My Generation Wants Sex But They Don’t Really Understand Intimacy!, and the inspiration behind this blog was my cousin. In the last blog, I wrote that our generations don’t have that much gap, but now I think we do.
Since I got married this year, and we were having some conversation regarding my expectations, she said, “Didi I don’t have expectations, I have requirements”. I didn’t relate to it at first, but when she explained it to me, I was blown away with her words.
“An expectation is something hoped for, whereas a requirement is something that is demanded, something that is necessary.”
Please read the above quoted sentence twice.
I remember when I was meeting men (the matches) for marriage, everyone asked me what are your expectations, but nobody asked me my requirements.
When expectations are being conveyed, you are indirectly making the other person the decision maker. I mean, it’s okay if he/she fulfils your expectations or not, irrespective of the fact how important they are to you.
My cousin told me the time has come where girls don’t have expectations, but requirements.
She, herself, told me, “I am very clear what I require from my partner and the same will be conveyed to him. I don’t want him to take me for granted.”
I mean, think to yourself, whenever we say I expect you to take me out, we aren’t giving him the option?
Whenever I have a dialogue with my cousin, I feel elated to acknowledge the thinking process of girls today. They know their value, and they are not ready to compromise by degrading it.
Once again I would request to read the difference between expectations and requirements, and judge yourself is it necessary to convey your requirements or not?
Image Source: Still from trailer of Baadhai Ho, edited of Canva Pro
Smriti Malhotra is a Delhi girl and an avid dreamer. She works at the Embassy of the Republic of Congo by profession but is a writer by passion. She began writing while at school and read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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