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My kids are my responsibility. They didn't choose to be born, that choice was mine. Whatever it takes, I will do my best to give them the best. I owe it to them.
This year I turn 10. Do not be astonished, I am not talking about my age. It is going to be a decade since I became a Mom. When you step into motherhood, not only do you bring a new life into the world, but also get a whole new life yourself. EVERYTHING changes in this new avatar. Frankly, I am becoming ten this Diwali.
Ten long years- yet, I can remember almost every bit of my journey. Each milestone that my firstborn encountered is engraved on my mind. I can see it clearly and vividly. How the nurse pointed out his finely shaped eyebrows as she laid him into my arms, the clothes he had worn on the day of his first vaccine shot, his first proper meal, his favourite song. The first day of play school, nursery, etc., etc. Do you get what I mean?
However, it is just the opposite with the second one. What happened? Did I close my eyes in exhaustion by the time she started taking her first steps? Maybe, I just settled down as a mother. The second kid sorts you out as a parent. You learn to treat your kids as kids. And stop being obsessed with the creatures. I graduated from being a scout on constant attention to one at ease.
It is generally this way for children born second or third in any family. These kids learn to find their way around better than their elder siblings. Parents become wiser and let the child be; without fussing unnecessarily as they do for their firstborn. Although I hear it often “you love bhaiya more than me!” no one believes it. My younger one is as spoilt as the first, if not more. She’s “The Smarty” who gets her way every time! In everything!
Pretty often, I find myself admonishing my children in the same manner that my mother used to. I’ve become MY MOM reincarnate – I never thought I would. I hated her, all through my years growing up. So often I get the same treatment from my brats when I’m strict and enforcing rules. They Hate Me!
This is the experience of being a parent. It’s like a rollercoaster ride. At one time you are at a peak and the next minute you come hurtling down. Before you can take a breath, there comes a steep turn that makes your body stretch like an elastic band. You must hold tight, fasten the seatbelt and be ready to SCREAM! Don’t hop off the ride if you want to keep your sanity intact. You’ve got to get your hands dirty, your clothes and hair all messed up, and, end up breathless! Then be prepared for the ride to start all over again! Parenting is tough and challenging, nonetheless an exhilarating experience!
My kids are my responsibility. They didn’t choose to be born, that choice was mine. Whatever it takes, I will do my best to give them the best. I owe it to them. Education, learning, values, skills be it professional or interpersonal , all-round excellence. That’s our endeavour. All moms and dads want the same. We all try to do the best for our children. There are no rules to parenting. It’s unfair to judge anyone’s parenting style. Some moms are hardworking, some are lazy, and some mothers are over-cautious while some are laid back. Some like me are strict while others are lenient. The key as Lord Buddha said, is in finding “the middle path”. I’m yet to trudge upon it.
Despite the hardships, the better part of motherhood are the children. To be able to hold and care for your own. Little hands, tiny feet, and chubby chins to cuddle and watch them grow. Unconditional kisses and hugs can brighten up the darkest of days. I see a reflection of myself in their sparkling eyes. Bringing them up makes me relive my childhood, my fantasies, and my dreams. I’m never alone as I’ve found best friends in my two darlings. Kids can be moulded by love and care. That’s the only rule that you can follow.
We, new-age moms want our kids to be as independent as possible. I’m no different. “When will you eat on your own? Why can’t you go down without me accompanying you?” You must do most of your tasks on your own, I can’t help you always” These are common laments I’ve made. However, as they turn older and more independent I miss being needed all the time. “Chill Ma, I’ll do it on my own.” I strangely miss the times when I sat long hours beside him with math and phonics.
“Mom, I’m going down!” yells the younger brat and before I can say Jack Nicholson, the door slams shut. I feel lost…. Too early isn’t it for the empty nest syndrome to settle in? Within minutes she’s back, tears rolling down her cheeks. Some kids pulled her hair and teased her. I must go and teach them a lesson!!
“Mamma, will you help me?”
“Sure darling, I’ll always help you!” I reply beaming.
We can’t hold onto our children. It’s important to let go and have no expectations. May their dreams take them to unprecedented heights and their endeavours meet success unparalleled.
As life unfolds, they will encounter disappointment, heartbreak, and anguish. In moments when they need me, I will be there. Physically or emotionally We parents will be there to support our kids. That little light that came from me will be Within Me, Forever.
Image Source: Alex Pasarelu via Unsplash
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Hi! I'm Meeta Chablanii- an animator, illustrator a freelance fashion designer and a full time mom to two little brats. My journey of bringing them up forms the backdrop of most of my posts. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Mostly Normal is a book of innocence, longing, filial love, angst and acceptance, encapsulating a gamut of human emotions within its lightweight edifice. The book touches the human heart and will stay with you.
Some books enthral you till the last page, and then there are those that you stop reading after turning a few pages. Some books are a one-time read, while you carry some books with you long after you have read them. Then, once in a while, a book hits you so close to home that you find it difficult to slot into any category.
I will put Priyadeep Kaur’s Mostly Normal (BookSoul Reads, 2022) in this last bracket.
At a little less than hundred pages, Mostly Normal is a testimony of the power of words to inspire, irrespective of their length.
Most women do not get to live their lives the way they want, on their own terms. So why should they be tied down in their old age?
Every morning, while dropping the kids at the bus stop, I find a grandfather waiting with his granddaughter. I see him again when I fetch the kids. This has been the pattern for the last few years.
He is seen actively participating in his granddaughter’s activities, from morning and evening walks to attending her parent-teachers meeting, sending her for extracurricular activities to even planning her birthday party. He is admired by all. He is appreciated for making himself useful in his old age. People rave that the doting grandfather is doing his duty towards his children and grandchildren. The much-admired grandfather is also a widower, having lost his wife years ago to chronic disease. It’s also to be noted that both his son and daughter-in-law are working parents.
Every day, the onlookers appreciate his sense of duty and dedication. They say that this is how the elderly should keep themselves occupied. They should bring up their grandchildren while their children go off to work.
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