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My father always taught me, that be it a love marriage or arrange marriage, the first three years are a locking period. Every girl has to do a lot of adjustments!
It’s been three months since I got married, and many might think that it’s too early to write on this topic. Therefore, I am not writing on my marriage experience, but something which I was taught before my marriage to have a successful life ahead.
India is considered to be one of the fastest economies in the world, but still has a stereotype society that stinks. A society that will make you realize and remind every day that you are a girl, and you should learn to live that way only.
Thankfully I was born and brought up in a family where equal liberty was given to me and my brother, but when I was about to get married everything changed overnight.
Whenever I sat down with my parents, they began to teach and tell me things which were unacceptable.
My father always taught me, that be it a love marriage or arrange marriage, the first three years are a locking period. Every girl has to do a lot of adjustments, and it will be nothing new for you!
Be patient no matter what happens, you don’t have to argue or answer back. Eventually, with time, everything will fall in place.
My mother didn’t give me any different advice. Whenever I shared my fears with her, she told me that silence is the best solution to all my future problems.
She shared her journey with me and how being quiet helped her to complete thirty-three years of marriage. To my surprise, when I shared my thoughts with other close members of the family, everywhere I got the same reply.
It’s the girl who has to undergo the biggest change after marriage, it’s a 180 degree shift for her and still people expect her to remain silent. I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, but this is the wrong advice parents have been giving to their daughters before getting married.
I don’t say they should encourage her to misbehave or fight without a cause, but they should encourage her to at least put her point. They should teach her to raise her voice against injustice, to never allow anyone to hurt her integrity.
Parents should teach daughter to answer back when someone speaks roughly and is rude when it’s not her fault, for that reason it may be anyone.
In India, the biggest fear for parents is their children getting separated or divorced, and this fear is instilled deeply in them that at times they give wrong advice that not only makes their daughters silent for a while but sometimes for forever.
Image Source: Still from Raazi, via Canva Pro
Smriti Malhotra is a Delhi girl and an avid dreamer. She works at the Embassy of the Republic of Congo by profession but is a writer by passion. She began writing while at school and read more...
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