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Alia Bhatt is pregnant and happy about it - it's not our job to accuse her of 'trapping' her partner into marriage or shaming her for the timing of it.
When Alia Bhatt announced that she and her partner, Ranbir Kapoor, were expecting a baby, all I could feel was joy. As a person who has been in awe of Bhatt’s acting skills and dedication, this news genuinely made my day.
However, the joy was soon replaced by anger and frustration when I read the first few comments (from certain unverified Instagram handles) on her pregnancy post. Here are the exact words of those who felt it was okay to question a woman’s choice:
“Baby k liye saadi kiye ho ya saadi k liye baby?” (Did you get married because of this baby or did you get married to make babies?)
“…sayad pehle se hi ho chuki hogi,..tabhi ranbir ko shaadi krni pad gyi…” (Maybe she was pregnant before. That’s why Ranbir had to marry her.)
“hogai tabhi kri na shaadi?” (You were pregnant, that’s why you got married, right?)
“Seems like she got pregnant to force him to marry her….”
“Nice trick to grab your flirty husband on time! Clever Alia!”
“Sadi ko 2 months hi huye hai…us hisab se December mein bachcha ho jana chahiye usse phle agr hua to samj jayenge..kand pahle hi ho gya tha.” (They’ve been married for just 2 months. Based on that, they should have a child in December. If she delivers before that, it is safe to assume that they did it before marriage.)
“Thoda rukk ke shadi krte to baby bhi mach leta shadi me,” (If you would’ve waited a little more, then your child would be dancing at your wedding.)
There are numerous things that such people need to keep in mind before writing such things on someone’s post.
It is unfair to say that Alia Bhatt, one of the most talented actors in the country, tried to ‘trap’ Ranbir Kapoor into marriage.
Seems like we are still living in a world where a woman, no matter how successful she is, gets told that she conned a man into marrying her. Do people really think that someone as independent and as talented as Bhatt would have to manipulate someone into marrying her?
Furthermore, blaming a female actor for getting pregnant to ‘grab’ a ‘flirty husband on time’ shows the regressive mentality of a few people. Such statements take us back to a few B-grade Bollywood films like Kya Kehna (2000) in which individuals getting pregnant were called ‘gold-diggers’ just because the men who impregnated them were wealthy and influential.
It’s high time, we, as a society, learn that pregnancy is not as easy as people think it to be. Pregnancy is not a tool that people can use to capture someone for life. The chances of people getting rejected by their partners after getting pregnant are much higher than the chances of their partners actually taking the responsibility of the child.
Are we really expecting that anyone who is a non-cis man should save themselves for marriage, now? Who really is a virgin till marriage these days? In fact, who really gets married because they have never had sex in their lives?
The backlash that the couple has been receiving over the assumption that they might have indulged in sexual activities prior to getting married is genuinely disturbing. Why should sex be tied to marriage? Why is it anyone’s business to criticise two consenting adults over what they might or might not choose to do behind closed doors?
Alia Bhatt is a strong and financially independent woman who could’ve definitely raised her child on her own, if she wanted to. The point being that even if she did get pregnant before marriage, it is not fair to ridicule her for that. It is her choice how she wishes to live her life.
Just as sexual intimacy and marriage are separate from one another, childbirth and marriage also need to be looked at separately. It is okay for someone to get pregnant before marriage.
It is also okay if they get married because they are pregnant. Remember that pregnancy requires two people. Thus, accusing Bhatt for getting pregnant on purpose shows nothing, but the sexist mentality of a few Indians.
Image credits Alia Bhatt’s Instagram
A literature student who spends most of her time watching (and thinking about) Bollywood films. read more...
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