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So it is ok for the girl to suffer at the hands of her husband, but her family shouldn't help, fearing what will SOCIETY say?
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence and parental neglect, and may be triggering for survivors.
Why is it that even today, in the 21st century, crime against women is still high? Why is it that even today a woman suffering domestic violence is considered good, but a woman who fights back is called characterless?
Two years ago I had met this woman. She had a toddler and was staying with her parents because she could no longer live with her drunkard husband, who didn’t have a job and would also take her money, leaving her sometimes with no money even to feed her baby.
She had come to live with her parents hoping that they would help her, but they gave in to the so-called society’s demands and begged her to return to him. They did send a lot of stuff along with her to appease her husband and in-laws.
Six months back she gave birth to a baby boy. Her family was happy that now her life would be better, after all she had given birth to the family heir. When her parents went to meet her, they saw that she had lost weight, and had given birth to a sickly baby due to lack of nutrition during the pregnancy. Her parents begged her husband and in-laws for permission to let them take her with them for a few months, but were not ‘granted’ that and returned home empty-handed.
I haven’t heard about her after that. Last month I saw her mother and asked her why were they so scared to bring her with them, and her answer was, “What will the society say, married daughter in her maternal home?”
So it is ok for the girl to suffer at the hands of her husband, but her family shouldn’t help, fearing what will SOCIETY say?
After finding out that my husband had been cheating on me and had possibly fathered a child with a married woman – mind you this woman was married to ‘his friend’ – I was devastated. I was also pregnant at this time and unfortunately ended up losing my baby.
My parents took me away from that man and his family and helped me cope up with the loss of my baby and also my health; I had to undergo a cesarean to deliver my baby. The so-called society has been telling me to move in back with my husband and plan another baby, after all he is a man, it’s okay if he does it.
That man hasn’t once tried to check if I survived the surgery or not, though he was angry when I stopped paying the money he and his mother took from me every month to live in his house. I and my parents have been threatened by him and his family that if I do not start paying him again he will destroy my life. Well, unluckily for him 5 years of marriage with him have made me stronger than what I was, and luckily I have supportive parents. Yes they are worried about the society but they don’t want to lose me.
So today I want to ask a question. Is a dead daughter better than going against the so-called society? After seeing this I feel that people who commit female infanticide are better than these jerks, at least they ensure that the girl won’t survive to suffer at the hands of so many others. It’s just my opinion though; I just wish that God just stops making human females, there is no need for such a society to survive, their extinction would be for the best!
Image source: Still from Marriage Short Film WOMEN EMPOWERMENT, Content Ka Keeda via YouTube
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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