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The possibility of a vaginal tear and stitches came to me as a shock, as I realized that there is still so much that I am not aware of about my own body!
I have a confession to make. I am 27 years old ‘unmarried’ woman and I had no idea about what a Vaginal Tear is, until few months ago when my friends were discussing it.
Listening to the conversation, my ears refused to believe what they had just heard. It was a shock, and I had never heard of it before.
If you happen to be someone like me, let me describe what vaginal tear is, which according to the internet, where I immediately did a frantic search, are “common” during childbirth. Yet nobody bothered to talk about such a “common” complication women experience during delivery.
There are various reasons for vaginal tears, which might include, being a first time mother, or if the baby is bigger than the maximum the vagina can stretch, or has weight on higher side etc. According to the information I read, this is a tear that cuts across vaginal tissue and can go in any direction, and often during labour the woman is given a cut there so it can be controlled!
And the mother needs to get stitches to close the perineal tear! I never knew that a normal delivery included stitches too!
Well, I have never planned to have a kid. I am anyway going to lead a child-free life. But what if in a parallel universe, I want a child? Who was going to educate me about stuff like that? And at what stage?
We all talk about periods, PMSing, PCOD/PCOS etc. Then why did I never hear anybody talking about complications during and after pregnancy?
As far as I remember, we had nothing about pregnancy and deliveries in our school textbooks, and thereafter, nobody actually cared to educate about things like that.
What people actually care about is- “When are you getting married?” “When are you going to have children?” without bothering to replace that “when” with “Why” or “How”. “How are you going to have children?” Are you aware of all the procedures, all the possibilities, all the complications, before getting pregnant and announcing the ‘happy news’ to society?
There are initiatives all around the world for sex education. But what about the education for “what happens after sex if you choose to have a baby”?
Vaginal tears and stitches came to me as a shock because I realized that there is still so much that I am not aware of about my own body! Moreover, I know that I am not the only one. Fortunately, I have access to the resources from where I can learn these things but what about the women who are kept in dark just because “in our society, we do not talk about things like that”?
Image source: Sanjasy on pixabay
Civil Engineer by profession.
Artist by choice. read more...
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I huffed, puffed and panted up the hill, taking many rest breaks along the way. My calf muscles pained, my heart protested, and my breathing became heavy at one stage.
“Let’s turn back,” my husband remarked. We stood at the foot of Shravanbelagola – one of the most revered Jain pilgrimage centres. “We will not climb the hill,” he continued.
My husband and I were vacationing in Karnataka. It was the month of May, and even at the early hour of 8 am in the morning, the sun scorched our backs. After visiting Bangalore and Mysore, we had made a planned stop at this holy site in the Southern part of the state en route to Hosur. Even while planning our vacation, my husband was very excited at the prospect of visiting this place and the 18 m high statue of Lord Gometeshwara, considered one of the world’s tallest free-standing monolithic statues.
What we hadn’t bargained for was there would be 1001 granite steps that needed to be climbed to have a close-up view of this colossal magic three thousand feet above sea level on a hilltop. It would be an understatement to term it as an arduous climb.
Why is the Social Media trend of young mothers of boys captioning their parenting video “Dear future Daughter-in-Law, you are welcome” deeply problematic and disturbing to me as a young mother of a girl?
I have recently come across a trend on social media started by young mothers of boys who share videos where they teach their sons to be sensitive and understanding and also make them actively participate in household chores.
However, the problematic part of this trend is that such reels or videos are almost always captioned, “To my future daughter-in-law, you are welcome.” I know your intentions are positive, but I would like to point out how you are failing the very purpose you wanted to accomplish by captioning the videos like this.
I know you are hurt—perhaps by a domestic household that lacks empathy, by a partner who either is emotionally unavailable, is a man-child adding to your burden of parenting instead of sharing it, or who is simply backed by overprotective and abusive in-laws who do not understand the tiring journey of a working woman left without any rest as doing the household chores timely is her responsibility only.
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