Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
They may sympathize with their partners or spouses who suffer silently with painful contraception, sterilization, unwanted pregnancies or abortions, but not once do they consider vasectomy as an option.
“I did a pregnancy test yesterday at home, Thank God it was negative. Hadn’t slept since I missed my last cycle.” A friend confided over lunch.
“Don’t you use protection?” I was genuinely surprised.
“A large number of men find condoms uncomfortable, we go the traditional early withdrawal way. So at times, I get anxious about a sudden pregnancy. You know, what if…” She replied.
“Same here. I tried Copper-T though, but Uff, that didn’t agree with me. So we too prefer it this way.” A third one quipped.
“That’s exactly why I got my family planning operation done after 2 kids. No more cycles, no more tension.” Another one in our lunch group solemnly declared.
We nodded, though difficult, statistics proved that more than 40% of Indian women prefer sterilization to other contraceptive methods.
I had myself depended on pills for some time, but then they weren’t advisable for a long-time use.
But then, all this discussion got me thinking, none of us, or our men had ever talked about vasectomy, an economical and far less painful procedure.
Google shows that in our country, only a meagre 6% of men went in for Male Family Planning. And a little research and reading left me astounded, with the reasons why more than 90% of women in India considered contraception as solely their responsibility.
Men and their manhood go back a long way. And even in the 21st century, this relation is holy and precious, shameful to be snatched from them. In fact, in many parts of India, a man’s masculinity is judged by the number of children he sires. Trust me, it’s not restricted to rural areas alone. Nor is this phenomenon restricted only to India.
Most of the so-called educated and modern-day sophisticated men harbour precisely the same notion. And though they watch and perhaps sympathize with their partners or spouses who suffer silently with painful contraception, sterilization, unwanted pregnancies or abortions, not once do they consider vasectomy as an option. And to think, it’s a far simpler process, there’s no major surgery involved and the man can return home from the clinic the very same day.
What surprised me the most was, studies show that in most cases in India, when a man plans to undergo a vasectomy, his relatives, his close friends, especially his parents discourage him. For the simple reason of him “giving up his manhood” – a complete misconception!
The wife is generally blamed for encouraging such thoughts in him and then many a times, the woman takes the final call, to go under the knife, just so her man’s ‘virility’ isn’t affected. Many wives consider their own sterilization more convenient than being forever accused of their husband’s emasculation.
I had a word with my husband and he was quick to respond, “I use protection all the time and I’m aware of my responsibilities. Then why should any of us undergo a surgical procedure?”
That’s what I guess many of our husbands would say, and until then, we, even those amongst the educated and emancipated category will continue to fret over a missed period.
Image source: a still from the film Badhaai Ho
read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
It is shameful that in today's world too, women are abused and even killed for giving birth to a girl, and the infant's life is also of no value.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
Why someone have to lose a life to bring such awareness to the society. Delhi High Court gave this judgement concerning a case that filed by the deceased daughter’s parents against her in-laws. She committed suicide as she was harassed and tortured for dowry and giving birth to two daughters.
Please enter your email address