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It's a classic case of abuse, where your abuser first makes you believe that no one will love you, but them. And that you are not worth anything if they move away.
Trigger Warning: This speaks of violence against women and domestic abuse and may be triggering to survivors.
I was watching the reality show Lock Upp yesterday, in which Poonam Pandey talks about her abusive relationship.
She was with this guy for 4 years. And he would beat the shit out of her. She owes a 4 storied house with a staff. She paid for everything. Yet her then partner would have complete control over her life. He would not let her take her phone out of the room. Remember she paid all bills.
Her right part of the head still hurts and she needs to undergo periodic treatment, as she has been bashed against the wall many times. She has also lost her sense of smell as he broke her nose many times.
Poonam Pandey is not a woman who had no resources to have control over her own life. Yet it took her 4 years to call the police to intervene.
It’s a classic case of abuse, where your abuser first makes you believe that no one will love you, but them. And that you are not worth anything if they move away.
That’s what abusers do. They first play with your head. And make you believe in your worthlessness. And then it’s always a downward spiral from there. Always.
Abusers are smart. They try this with a little smirk here and there as they convince you sneakily that you are not worth anything if they are not in your life. And then it goes to a traumatic extent.
I don’t know who needs to hear this. But if anyone tells you your life is worthless without them, its a huge red flag. Run today. People who love you don’t abuse you.
It’s a dysfunctional system that makes an abused believe that they deserve it. You don’t deserve it. No one does. And that person is not your Messiah. Today love yourself hard and run. Don’t get used to abuse. It will make you defunct.
This is valid for all genders.
I am sorry if you are going though it. But run. Now.
Proud Indian. Senior Writer at Women's Web. Columnist. Book Reviewer. Street Theatre - Aatish. Dreamer. Workaholic. read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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