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There are many sleepless nights when I wonder what you would have looked like, had you been with us. I miss the fact that I never heard your laughter and cry. I am going to miss when you would take your first step.
Trigger Warning: This speaks of pregnancy loss, loss of a child, and grief, and may be triggering to survivors.
“You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful.” – John Green, The Fault In Our Stars
To my unborn child,
We were happy to see the pregnancy dipstick with the two pink lines on it. We shouted with joy and glee. Though it was going to be a journey of nine months we wanted to make it special from day one for you. We started to take steps so that you may be comfortable in my tummy, and started dreaming about you and a future with you.
Then one day I had some pain. But all I was worried about was – you. We rushed to the doctor. She helped me with some medication and asked me to wait and watch. We prayed all night for your safety and well-being. But in the morning we felt that we lost the battle. I had acute pain and was rushed to the hospital.
The doctor confirmed that you were not coming and that you bid goodbye to us. Your sac had collapsed. We wondered what wrong we had done.
We returned home with a vacuum in our lives. We were taken over with grief. I pined for you and recalled every moment I had with you.
You went to God without meeting us. Though you are in his beautiful presence and I know you are safe, I still wish you would be with us.
There are many sleepless nights when I wonder what you would have looked like, had you been with us. I never had an opportunity to know whether you were a boy or a girl. I miss the fact that I never heard your laughter and cry. I am going to miss when you would take your first step. I am going to miss celebrating your birthdays, miss all your milestones, gazing into your eyes, and holding you close to me. I am going to miss reading all the bedtime stories and singing rhymes with you.
I want you to know that I would have been always there for you. Even when I had pain I was praying for your well-being. I would help you through all your struggles. We would have been great friends.
You did not come to this world but I am happy for you that you went to God. I know you are safe in his presence. He has an equally beautiful world and he must have great plans for you.
I want you to know that we love you a lot!
Love Always,
Your mom who remembers you every day
Author’s note: The news of childbirth gives immense happiness. But there are many women who do not get this happiness. We should refrain from asking them about their plans for children. You never know maybe they have been trying but…
Image source: cottonbro on pexels
Well, about me I can say that I am a certified dentist, healthcare analyst, medical writer and above all a mother. I blog at NatkhatZ. read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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