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A baby's first solid food is traditionally fed to it by the mother's brother (maama). But should all hell break loose if a mother gives that right to her sister instead?
A baby’s first solid food is traditionally fed to it by the mother’s brother (maama). But should all hell break loose if a mother gives that right to her sister instead?
This isn’t a male-bashing story. Neither is it a story about a 30+ woman and her passive-aggressive quibbles. The story is pretty simple.
I am an over-excited new mom and it was time for my son’s Annaprashan. A few days over 5 months, my boy needed to be fed solid food for the first time. Bengal, the much revered and adored state I come from, regards this day as one of the biggest and most important in a child’s life.
Plus, I don’t mind the can’t-be-finished-ever amount of food and desserts this day demands. Naturally, I wanted to do it for my son.
The funny thing, however, was the fact that I was told I needed his Maama (Maternal Uncle) to do the holy ritual of feeding him. Apparently, the gods wanted it that way.
Well, I don’t agree.
I don’t think the gods wanted anything else other than the child to move on from latching onto my breasts every time he is hungry and try some real food, for crying out loud. The gods have also wilfully and quite generously gifted me with a brain, along with a conscience that is perfectly capable of telling crap from gold.
I do not have a brother. Therefore, my son doesn’t have a Maama. He, however, has a Maashi with two good hands that can feed him exactly the way a Maama would.
Voila! (Non- existent) problem solved.
If I say I broke a tradition that’s been going on “since the Vedic age”, I might get looked at as “a feminist” who refuses to follow misogynistic practices and does what she thinks is right “without caring about” some relatives/ people who might raise eyebrows, or even “get hurt.”
The truth is that I am exactly that feminist, and also quite unequivocal when required.
I refused to go looking for a substitute distant cousin or dharam Maama and gave my sister the right she was born with. The right to call my son her own the way a Maama would.
And if in the process someone did “get hurt,” I am sorry but honestly, not sorry.
Meanwhile, stay safe, stay healthy and share this story if you like it. It might bring upon others just the right kind of inspiration and reassurance we all need from time to time.
I am a copywriter, currently working as an Creative Director in a multinational Ad Agency in Gurgaon, NCR. I get my inspiration from Modernist poets like Edgar Lee Master, Carl Sanburg & Frost. Tagore, Ray and read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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