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What right does a Principal have of judging a working mother and her capabilities in taking care of her child, just because she has long work hours?
A lady is seeking admission for her child in a highly sought-after nursery school in Delhi. The Principal asks her in the online interview (or interaction… or whatever they call it these days), “You have been working for *** firm for eight years. But they make their employees keep such long hours. How do you manage time for your daughter?” (not an actual quote, but the essence of it).
I have heard such statements earlier too, so this is certainly not an isolated case of judging and guilt-tripping a woman but they do give rise to many more questions about the actual status of women in Indian society.
How is this even a valid question to ask a working mother – if she is able to give enough time to her child? Is this even a criterion for giving or denying admission to a child?
Such questions used to be part of the questionnaire and interview for parents earlier, but last I heard they had been prohibited by the govt so how come the principal asked it in blatant contravention of guidelines and advisories?
Do such questions not insinuate and reiterate that a woman is the sole caregiver of her child and very conveniently exclude the father from any responsibility of childcare? Is this not how society perpetuates gender-specific roles for women and men?
More importantly, is this the mindset the school is going to inculcate in the children – regressive and sexist?
Does this not make the mother feel guilty about being a working woman (is this even a term because all mothers anyway work for long hours whether they have a paid job or not), especially if this negates the chances of her child getting admission in a particular school?
Would the lady’s marital family (they are otherwise very supportive and encourage her to fully utilize her potential) not start telling her to switch to a less demanding job if the school denies the child admission?
Isn’t this how and why a majority of women are forced to relinquish their dreams and aspirations and take up a job (at times even for a lower position and lesser pay) just because it is more convenient for the family?
Is the Principal herself not a working woman keeping long hours in running a school that famous? Are the majority of teachers and staff there not women? Then why stigmatize another working woman?
I know for a fact how some school managements put pressure on teachers to upgrade their computer skills, attend training sessions (sometimes at night too), make PowerPoint presentations, etc when Covid-19 hit and schools had to suddenly go online. Teachers were pulled up ruthlessly if they were lax in adapting to technology. In some cases, they were scolded if they failed to respond to their senior’s WhatsApp messages even though they were sent late at night. Do these teachers not have children and families, do they not have a life of their own?
Then what right does a Principal have of judging a working mother and her capabilities in taking care of her child just because she has long work hours?
Being in the education sector, the Principals (or for that matter any organization head) should be aware of the power of words. They should know how to frame questions and statements in a way that they don’t offend and hurt anyone and don’t reduce her to tears out of a sense of guilt at neglecting her child.
Lastly, we would also agree that two wrongs don’t make one right. Neither the corporates nor the educational institutes or other employers are correct in forcing the employees to ignore their families, their own mental, emotional and physical health and keep slogging till late in the night, pandemic or no pandemic. Maintaining a work-life balance is a must in every sphere because a job is just the means to earn money and live life comfortably, it is not The Life.
Your thoughts?
Image source: shutterstock
Curious about anything and everything. Proud to be born a woman. Spiritual, not religious. Blogger, author, poet, educator, counselor. read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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