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As an Indian, there are a lot of values I am proud of that make India, but there are also some twisted toxic logics that go beyond my head.
We as Indians have a custom of blind respect for anyone who is above you in relation or of course age.
There is this unspoken rule that no matter what happens you soldier on and be abiding. I often wonder that how many people have lost their sense of self in this process. Must be countless.
Putting the microscope on the much burdened Indian woman, who of course has the responsibility of bearing the entire clan’s honor in everything.
Its women who mend herself to be fit into her own house and then later her husband’s house. Time and again I have seen this in many relationships. I know, there is zero sense of respect that is given to this woman yet she is expected to bite down her words and never express her feelings.
Such a toxic practice leads to immense resentment towards women who have braved their way through life, who have cut ties with people that deserve nothing but disrespect.
The clash of the oppressed woman and the liberated woman is often seen in situations where there is a forced sense of giving respect to an elder who has been inhumane, giving time to relationships that are conditional and making oneself small for everyone’s convenience.
Here is where I would side with the liberated woman and plead the oppressed one to take heed and follow sooth. Break the boundaries and tell people that they have time and again humiliated you.
Cut off ties with anyone who has been horrible to you in every sense. Because life is too precious to give anything to anyone who is beneath us in values.
Image Source: Still from Thappad
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Chetan Bhagat had no business slut shaming Uorfi Javed or any other woman. If he wants to 'guide' young men in the 'right direction' then he should take accountability for his words.
Chetan Bhagat, one of India’s bestselling authors, thought it was an ingenious idea to slut-shame Uorfi Javed, an Indian actress and influencer, at the Sahitya Aaj Tak literature festival.
“Phone has been a great distraction for the youth, especially the boys, spending hours just watching Instagram Reels. Everyone knows who Uorfi Javed is. What will you do with her photos? Is it coming in your exams or you will go for a job interview and tell the interviewer that you know all her outfits? On one side, there is a youth who is protecting our nation at Kargil and on another side, we have another youth who is seeing Uorfi Javed’s photos hiding in their blankets.”
Uorfi Javed responded with a video on her Instagram stories calling out Bhagat’s bluff. She shared the screenshots of his previous chat conversations with Ira Trivedi, author and yoga instructor, which came to light during the #MeToo movement.
While boys are taught to naturally own the space they enter, girls are taught to give up, to accommodate, to adjust since "it is their primary responsibility to keep families and relations together."
Yesterday, I was watching these 4 young girls around 16 – 17 years old play badminton. They were having fun, goofing around with all 4 of them equally involved in the game.
In some time two of their male friends joined them, and as part of round robin, the 2 boys replaced two of the girls. All good.
As the play continued, I started noticing a change in the way the game was being played. The shuttle was played most of the times between the two boys and there was a sense of competition and aggression brought in. The other 2 girls playing soon starting losing interest in the game as they hardly got any game time. Even if the shuttle came towards them, the boy in their team would move and play that shot. They soon moved to the sidelines as the boys continued to play.
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