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Dear women– I hope you enjoy reading this. Dear men– please take notes!
Here are few points to be remembered to make women feel loved and worthy of all the unrecognized sacrifices they do.
Even taken the longer route when out late at night to avoid harassment. We’ve pretended to be on the phone, carried jackets and dupattas to cover ourselves, dressed differently while going out at night for the fear of getting raped or kidnapped. Yes, it is a reality – we women never feel completely safe. We actually don’t know the feeling!
From cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, taking the kids studies, planning vacations and remembering birthdays not just our husband’s but also their chacha’s, kaka’s, mama’s and long-lost cousins. It would be nice to be appreciated once in a while. It would be nicer if you remembered and wished our parents on their birthdays and anniversaries as well without being reminded by us.
On many occasions we have ignored men ogling at us, ignored them making a sexist or offensive comment and turned a blind eye to men who are our father’s age staring at our breasts. Not because we can’t fight back but because we are so accustomed to it. It is so pervasive, so frequent that we just deal with it and it is not something that we talk about every day. We might look away and pretend to ignore but we notice everything.
Everyone doing a job gets at least a day off from work, what about the women working at home? Would be nice to have day off, wouldn’t it? In sickness and in health women do it all because there is no one else who takes the responsibility. Women are humans too, they get tired and sick yet there won’t be a single day when her kids will go hungry or there won’t be any breakfast, lunch or dinner on the table.
All they expect is you to help them and not burden them with more work. Pick up those socks lying on the floor, pick up your plate and wash it for a change and take the kids’ studies once in a while. It will definitely make her happy and make her feel that there is someone standing for her just the same way she has always been there for everyone.
Many of us ignore the mean comments and casual jokes on us and our families that are thrown at us by our husbands and in-laws. We have all laughed at an inappropriate comment and have swallowed our anger when being belittled and judged. Many women avoid angering a man and don’t get into arguments just because they don’t want to endanger themselves or their peace of mind.
The memory still haunts us. We all have stories from our childhood and adolescence that we tell no one about. It is heart-breaking when we hear about other women being abused, raped or assaulted. It is realizing that it could have been us, our friends or our daughters instead. The dangers we perceive every time that we are alone aren’t in our imagination or a fragment of our minds.
We didn’t study so hard and get degrees to be an educated maid at home. Our job is just as important as our husbands but why is it never taken seriously. Why is it that a woman always leaves a job to raise a child and not a man? If I and my husband both work the same, why is the housework entirely my responsibility? It seems like women have the freedom to dream but don’t have the freedom or support to turn those dreams into reality. Please don’t judge me if I choose to work instead of taking care of the household duties, I studied really hard to be where I am today.
Please do not judge me if I choose to take care of my house and children instead of going to work. It is one of the toughest decisions of my life- to sacrifice my own dreams and aspirations to nurture and raise a family and to do so happily.
Grow up and act like a husband, be mature, responsible and take responsibility for your actions. Stand up for us when your family speaks ill about us, defend us coz we defend you in front of our families. We married a man not a child who needs to be raised. Don’t forget we already have children and it is best if they behave like children instead of you.
Last but not the least
Tell us we look sexy once in a while, flirt with us and kiss us when we least expect it. There is more to sex and love-making than what happens in the bedroom. We will appreciate you more and fall a little bit more in love with you. We love talking about sex and having sex just as much as men do. Women want to be desired they just don’t want to feel objectified or taken for granted. Nothing turns us on more than the idea that you can’t keep your eyes or hands off us. When a woman truly trusts her man, she can let her guard down and express herself better.
Image source: Still from The Sky Is Pink
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Vidhya came home with Riya. She was surprised to see the same expectations from her that were before from having a child. Nothing had changed, and she felt that nothing would ever change.
Vidhya was just like any other normal girl who grew up reading Cinderella and Rapunzel, wishing to meet her Prince charming someday. Though not a topper, she scored well in school and college and fulfilled her parent’s dream by joining as HR in a reputed financial firm.
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