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Right from childhood, it broke my heart to see my mother weeping at 'bidai' scenes in movies. I decided to change the definition of a wedding & make it a happier occasion for EVERYBODY!
I got married on 21st November 2021 to my college sweetheart. His name is Abhisek Tripathy. Ours was a Bihari-Odia wedding, held at Vijoya International, Puri, Odisha.
We had already decided to give it back to the patriarchy and touchwood, it went as planned. I was the happiest bride ever. Dancing around with my friends and family at every event. The wedding rituals were according to the Gayatri Samaj.
Right from my childhood I have seen my mother secretly weeping at every Bidai scene in any movie. and every time it broke my heart a little more. It was then I had decided to change the definition of a wedding and to make it a happier one for EVERYBODY!
We DID NOT perform Kanya Daan and Bidai. One of the best moments of the wedding was when we painted each other red by putting sindoor on each other. Abhisek and I had communicated to our families way before we decided to get married that Kanya Daan and Bidai are regressive rituals and we are not going to encourage that. We took a stand to be equals at the wedding and our families were supportive. And we are grateful for that.
All the finances of the wedding, right from Mehendi to Shaadi were shared by both the families. We also made an attempt to promote small businesses run by women. Right from bridesmaid hampers to our wedding outfits, we got everything done by small women-owned businesses.
After the rituals got over, I went to my room changed into my PJs. I was happily meeting my relatives and friends and chilling with my parents instead of bidding them goodbye. I am so glad that there was no such thing as Bidai. We had a nice time. Everyone was so happy. No Rona dhona (no wailing). It was such a happy wedding.
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Weddings are supposed to be happy for both families. It is unfair that one family is happy and the other is suffering the pain of bidding their girl goodbye and literally donating her by performing Kanya Daan.
We often see celebrities fighting marriage stereotypes and I am so proud of them for making it a little easier for us. We wanted to share a message that anyone and everyone can do it. It’s all about taking a stand. We have seen many celebs performing weddings in the right way. But at the end of the day, we all say “ye log toh celebrity haii issilie ho gaya (they could do it because they are celebrities); it’s not possible for us to do this”.
But I am not a celebrity, Abhisek is not a celebrity.
We are two individuals who took a stand against patriarchy and made our wedding a very happy one, with full support from our families. It was difficult to hear the taunts of society for not having Kanya Daan and Bidai and literally dancing at my own wedding but who cares? At the end of the day, we were happy.
Not performing Kanya Daan and Bidai was the best decision ever. And the moment when we painted each other red with sindoor instead of only him putting it on me, felt divine and magical.
Most importantly, it felt ‘EQUAL’!
Image source: Instagram
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