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Moms end up being the 'taskmaster' while dads get to do the fun stuff. Perhaps it’s just that mom's funny side gets hidden with all the work she has?
Moms end up being the ‘taskmaster’ while dads get to do the fun stuff. Perhaps it’s just that mom’s funny side gets hidden with all the work she has?
My daughter loves company while watching TV. ‘Mama, watch with me’, she always pleads.
She doesn’t get it. Screen time is the precious ‘me-time’ for Mama. And I haven’t yet figured out how to tell her. So in this process, we’ve discovered a new series called Bluey which is actually not that hard to watch. In fact, I have sort of started looking forward to it.
The series is about a dog family and it strikes just the right note of humour, parenting, values, family life and kids without being over the top about any of it.
At first, I didn’t have any complaints, only good things to say about it. But then during rewatches (as Disney India hasn’t appeared to have laid its hands on any other seasons apart from the first one yet) I have landed on a minor peeve.
It is always Bluey’s dad who’s horsing around with his kids, coming up with silly plays and generally being the ‘cool’ parent (if there’s ever such a thing)…while it is up to Mom to always lay down the rules and being the stricter parent and dare I say it…slightly more unrelatable parent for the kids?
There’s even an episode about it where the kids complain about how ‘boring’ their mom is…so the show is clearly self-aware about the projection.
This makes me think, are we moms as self-aware as it’s shown here? Each household is different, but it looks like moms have the lion’s share of non-fun jobs around the house. Somewhere along the way, we lose our sense of humour after reminding for the hundredth time to ‘please pick up the toys’ and ‘put away the clothes,’ etc.
Therefore, dads get to be the goofball parents and the cherry on the top (on rare occasions it falls on them) and somehow get the kids to listen to them better…
So as a ‘chivvying’ parent – has my whole mom life been a lie? I can blame my own parents because I’m simply going with what my own mother did…which was yelling at me until I gave in and reluctantly did what I was supposed to, whining and complaining all the while.
But maybe, just maybe, there’s a different way – that is be the goofball parent and just make everything ‘fun and playful’ and get the kids to listen!
But wait! After putting in a full day’s work, being responsible for breakfast, lunch, dinner, endless snacks, clean clothes and utensils for the entire family (not to mention raising an elementary school going kid), I need to be funny too?! What the…
Could it be the misplaced sense of responsibility that we moms take on ourselves? If we don’t get our kids to eat right, be hygienic and finish their homework or if we’re lagging behind in general housework, there’s this feeling of failure which drowns us from inside.
But then if you think about it, what’s the worst that can happen?
A few days back at my kid’s dentist appointment I found out she has six cavities. At the age of six! And despite all my best efforts of getting her to brush her teeth daily…and even brushing them by myself should she not, right!
I felt like a complete failure until the dentist went on to say it was irrelevant to her brushing or even how many chocolates or biscuits she has. Rather, it depends on the time she takes to finish her food. And yes, she is a terrible, distracted eater who will take an hour to finish her food.
After this incident I learned two things:
First, despite trying as hard as you can, some things will just happen beyond your control.
Second, kids learn from their mistakes. After getting her cavities filled, I rarely have to remind her to brush her teeth. I can tell her how unpleasant drilling is and unfortunately, she had to go through it to actually believe it.
Coming back to Bluey, I hope things change in season 2, and hopefully, we get to see Bluey’s mom’s fun side too. Moms have a funny side too. Perhaps, it’s temporarily buried. And it’s not just that only kids could use a good role model but everyone can.
Image credits: A still from Tare Zameen Par
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