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At that moment I realised that my father is as fallible as any other human being and a victim of internalised patriarchy, and even he has a few things that he needs to work on and evolve.
At that moment, I realized that my father is as fallible as any other human being and a victim of internalized patriarchy, and even he has a few things that he needs to work on and evolve.
My father has always been a feminist, never differentiating between my brother and me. He has never curbed my freedom, though at times I probably deserved getting grounded. He has always had confidence in me and has come to my defense many a time.
So when this happened, it shook me to my very core, and it took a lot of time for me to accept that it was okay. He will evolve. And it’s my job to help him.
By this incident, I discovered a different impact of patriarchy. My dad said, “at the end of the day, it’s the son’s responsibility to take care of his parents, not the daughter’s. Daughter’s responsibility is circumstantial”.
I don’t think anything has ever broken me to a level that this statement did.
So the new age parents do everything for their girl child but do not expect anything in return. There are no expectations.
And this may seem a sign of love, and for them, it is love. But this thought originates from the belief that after marriage, the daughter is a part of her husband’s household. That the daughter’s responsibility will then only be towards her husband’s parents, not towards her own parents.
When the husband and wife are both working, the woman is financially independent. How is it that it’s not her responsibility to take care of her parents? Why isn’t it expected out of the daughters? Why is the responsibility prima facie on the sons?
Image source: a still from the film Gunjan Saxena
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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