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Tinder tells us to get this straight; it is either an enthusiastic yes or nothing. It is also high time we change the conversation from ‘No means no’ to ‘Only yes means yes’.
On 28th September, Tinder India ran a print ad on some of the leading newspapers. What was different about this ad was not an online dating website promoting its unique features; instead it talked in details about consent.
The ad focused on how some phrases are believed to be equal to consent when clearly they are not.
Written in bold letters, “YES = YES”, Tinder India sent out the message loud and clear, straight to people’s living rooms via print media.
If it's not a Hell Yes, it is a No. #LetsTalkConsent pic.twitter.com/VUe148bV1v — Taru Kapoor (@tarukapoor) September 28, 2021
If it's not a Hell Yes, it is a No. #LetsTalkConsent pic.twitter.com/VUe148bV1v
— Taru Kapoor (@tarukapoor) September 28, 2021
Online dating websites have taken the generation by storm with its swiping left and right and the ease with which we match with people we admire, and Tinder India has been leading it.
Earlier this month, Tinder India initiated a conversation on consent with its short film ‘Closure’, produced in collaboration with Jugaad Motion pictures. The short film drove its viewers through a modern day relationship that ends with a breach of consent. At the end we see the ex-partners sitting across each other and discussing “what went wrong that night”.
The perpetrator is seen offering an excuse in disguise of his “You didn’t say no” as the victim answers “But I also didn’t say yes..I wish for once, you had asked”.
It brought to light, especially with this line, how clear verbal communication about consent and boundaries is the only way, nothing else.
Tinder’s Future of Dating Report showed that Tinder users used the word ‘boundaries’ and ‘consent’ in their bios more than 28% and 21% respectively compared to other dating sites in 2021, recording the maximum times used. Tinder India also launched its safety features in order to ensure the safety and transparency of its users.
In a society that constantly degrades and looks down upon sex, women are disproportionately taught to view physical intimacy as a taboo. This includes talking about comfort, boundaries, and even consent leading to people mostly relying on vague actions and calling them consent.
Let us get this straight; it is either an enthusiastic yes or nothing. It is also high time we change the conversation from ‘No means no’ to ‘Only yes means yes’. When we rely only on a strong and firm ‘No’, other responses like “I am not sure”, “I am unwell”, “Maybe” and the likes usually get ignored and mistaken for consent. The way I smile, or how often, does not mean you have my consent, and Tinder India does a pretty good job at making it amply clear.
Image source: short film Closure/ Tinder India on YouTube & Taru Kapoor on Twitter
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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