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I Am A Feminist Indian Housewife, And This Is My Dream ‘Career’!

As an Indian housewife I wonder if career means only earning money? I chose my job as a homemaker and am enjoying it. Am I wrong? Am I lazy?

As an Indian housewife I wonder if career means only earning money? I chose my job as a homemaker and am enjoying it. Am I wrong? Am I lazy?

When I cooked good food, I was advised to open a mess, When I maintained my home well, I was advised to start a housekeeping contract. It is in my personality to give solutions to my friends’ problems. So, they usually ask me to be a professional counsellor. I did all these things out of love and interest and never wanted to make it my profession. Is earning money alone a career?

If women are homemakers by choice, does that mean they are opposing the ideals of feminism? After completing my graduation, I got married and then my dream career started. Career? Yes, you may understand it by the end of this article.

As an Indian housewife, I am pursuing my dream career!

Earlier, I was also much appreciated for being as perfect as my mother. My husband and kids loved the way I maintained the home and relished my dishes. Luckily, my hubby was not a chauvinist and usually supported me in all my activities. So did my kids.

I get up early and don’t even have time to sit until all of them leave. There’s a corner near my balcony garden where I can see the beauty of my city. After everyone leaves, it is a bliss supreme with coffee, music and an excellent view. It was a perfect happy life. Did I mean the sentence to be in past tense? Yes.

Now both my children are on the edge of their teens. Grown up well.  As I was married immediately after my graduation, that is in my early twenties, I am now in my early forties. And now the problem has started in my career. Again career? Yes.

For those who wonder why I used the word here: what does the word career actually mean? I believe, career means your fullest outcome, which makes you happy, and which applies your knowledge and gains from that.

Here too, the same applies and I have gained love and affection. Then, can’t I call it my career? Unfortunately, nobody accepts it. Even my lovable family.

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I guide my children to learn: then how have I wasted my knowledge?

I don’t know what is bothering them: my age, my graduation status or my perfection, that now my family wants me to “explore”. They want me to go out, see the world and pursue my dream. I can hear the murmurs. Is that your problem? How lucky you are! Can’t relate to the blessing you have got!

Yes, I agree. It’s bliss supreme to have a family like this. But one thing they don’t understand is that I am actually living my dream. I have got what I wanted and relish what I am.

My family was surprised when I said I had achieved my dream. Despite all my efforts so far, now I appear as a lazy woman, wasting time and knowledge. I assisted my husband in some important projects for which he’s a general manager now. I guided my children to learn so that they can understand concepts easily without memorizing. Then, how is it that I wasted my knowledge?

According to them, as a housewife, I am not matching their status in the society. One day, my husband said that his colleague’s wife got a promotion and they were organizing a party for the same. He felt that his friend was so lucky to have her. To my surprise, the same woman was criticized a few years back for not taking care of her family. I couldn’t find what had changed here: things, time or people.

Living your life the way you want to is feminist

On the flip side, my husband wants me to create my own identity. A good homemaker is not my identity, the identity for which I was appreciated for all these years?

When I cooked good food, I was advised to open a mess, When I maintained my home well, I was advised to start a housekeeping contract. It is in my personality to analyse and give solutions for my friends’ problems. So, they usually ask me to be a professional counsellor. I wished to do all these things, out of love and interest and never wanted to make it my profession.

Is earning money alone a career? Have you ever heard the saying, ” Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life.” I chose my job as a homemaker and am enjoying it. Am I wrong? Am I lazy?

Now comes my doubt: will going to a job or being an entrepreneur alone utilize a woman’s knowledge? Does handling teenage children, supporting her husband when required, and administering a happy home not utilize the knowledge? Going on a trip or adventures alone is not feminism. To be what we love to be is feminism.

Am I wasting my time or living my dream life?

I love the saying, ” All women are working, only a few are salaried.” Like every daughter, I too love my mom a lot. She is my role model. She was a perfect homemaker. She valued her home and family a lot. Even without entering the kitchen, she can tell what’s in the second row, fourth box. That is the level of perfection she maintains.

Despite completing only her school education, she’s a master chef, home maker, interior designer, ayurvedic doctor and so on. She is the queen of our family. Influenced by her, my goal was to be like my mother and build a perfect family. She taught me to live a meaningful life.

Finally, I want to ask all the ladies here. Am I simply wasting my time or living my life as I dreamt it?

Image source: Still from Methi Ke Laddoo

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