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So, this is the Indian society where the would-be father & mother are working in IT companies and the family is educated. But a girl child is still not accepted!
It was the seven months ‘Baby Shower’ ceremony of a couple, who are very good neighbours of mine.
The would-be father suddenly brought few hand-made props and asked everyone to pick one for the photo shoot. They were “boy to be” “girl to be” “happy mother” “happy father” and “happy family” props. And then I was left astonished!
It was the seven months ‘Baby Shower’ ceremony of a couple, who are very good neighbours of mine. I was invited to their house party. It was a small function with their family members who included the would-be father’s parents, his sister, sister’s kids and his wife (the would-be mother).
Since I am their neighbour, I was the only outsider they had invited in this COVID-19 situation. They were very busy with providing me food, sweets and clicking pictures. The kids were also playing with me. It was all naturally, to make me feel like a part of their family.
I also thought of clicking few pictures of them and thus, took out my DSLR and started clicking pictures. They began posing, changed dresses and again posed. I was delighted to see the old parents caring so much for their daughter-in-law, which is something that very difficult to see in Indian households.
The would-be father suddenly brought few hand-made props and asked everyone to pick one for the photo shoot. They were “a boy to be”,” a girl to be”, ” happy mother”, “happy father” and “happy family” props.
I was astonished to see that no one picked up “a girl to be” prop. The guy wanted to give it to his mother but she was reluctant to take it and when the father was asked, the sister replied, “We all want a baby boy”.
So, this is the Indian society where the would-be father and mother are working in IT companies and the parents, sister and everyone is educated. But a girl child is still not accepted in the society.
Feeling a lump in my throat, I clicked their pictures, packed my camera and came back home.
Despite years of struggle for securing basic rights and equality for girls and women, there are still parents and families wanting a boy child rather than a girl. In today’s world, women have made commendable achievements in various fields and are slowly rising up in leadership positions as well. But are women’s talents and capabilities realised in the Indian society?
There are so many laws, NGOs, government bodies that are working for the upliftment of girl child. But if in the roots of a family, the negligence of not accepting a girl child remains, it’s all futile.
A girl child is a boon that happens to those parents who are empowered themselves. Everyone is not fortunate enough to be a girl’s parents.
Please do give it a thought. Your actions will pave the way for a better India!
Image souce: Still from Nil Battey Sannata
Market Research Analyst with an appetite for food, travel, books, gardening and adventure read more...
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
Darlings makes some excellent points about domestic violence . For such a movie to not follow through with a resolution that won't be problematic, is disappointing.
I watched Darlings last weekend, staying on top of its release on Netflix. It was a long-awaited respite from the recent flicks. I wanted badly to jump into its praise and will praise it, for something has to be said for the powerhouse performances it is packed with. But I will not be able to in a way that I really had wanted to.
I wanted to say that this is a must-watch on domestic violence that I stand behind and a needed and nuanced social portrayal. But unfortunately, I can’t. For I found Darlings to be deeply problematic when it comes to the portrayal of domestic violence and how that should be dealt with.
Before we rush to the ‘you must be having a problem because a man was hit’ or ‘much worse happens to women’ conclusions, that is not what my issue is. I have seen the praises and criticisms, and the criticisms of criticisms. I know, from having had close associations with non-profits and activists who fight domestic violence not just in India but globally, that much worse happens to women. I have written a book with case studies and statistics on that. Neither do I have any moral qualms around violence getting tackled with violence (that will be another post some day).