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Influencer and celebrity YouTuber Dolly Singh recently posted a video of herself as Preeti from Kabir Singh, changing the meek Preeti into someone quote badass.
The key feature of Kabir Singh is its blatant male toxicity and violence rather than the love of the protagonist. Dolly Singh has yet again reminded us of its existence.
On her Instagram account, she posted a video of herself with a very vibrant, strong, and different Preeti.
Well, A young woman who falls in love with a very possessive, controlling, and violent man. Kabir Singh. Preeti is not just the female lead opposite Kabir Singh, but an unfortunate example of how a woman accepts violence and manipulation in love.
Preeti meekly takes the slap Kabir Singh gives her, setting up a problematic role model for young women in love, and for young men who feel it’s ok to be controlling and violent towards a woman they love, since after all, what else can he do in the heat of the moment?
Preeti might have tolerated “just a slap” but Thappad’s Amrita Sabharwal let us all know that “just a slap, lekin nahi mar sakta!” (He can’t hit me!).
YouTuber Dolly Singh, famous for her strong voice, has uploaded this reel on her Instagram account, which has gone viral. Her caption states “Ye Preeti thodi alag hai” (This Preeti is different). Well, indeed!
Dolly Singh is dressed up here exactly like Preeti in the movie, and has nailed the badass version of the character with her own scripted dialogues. The love she has for Kabir didn’t overshadow her regard for her own dignity and respect. Love for Kabir doesn’t make her forget her father’s love. She also doesn’t wait for Kabir’s stupid “6-hour challenge”, but instead announces that she would file a lawsuit against him for the slap.
In her closing statement she says that “Love makes us accept chocolates and ice-creams, not a slap.”
This.
Love is something that should make a person’s life richer in terms of companionship and happiness. The love that deliberately leaves us traumatized cannot be termed as “Love”. While the movie did not portray that Preeti was traumatized by her abusive boyfriend, it portrayed her family as the ‘negative’ force in her life. Preeti might not have realized it, but we all do.
It was interesting to see how Dolly Singh brought out the change in Preeti that I was looking for as an audience. There was something satisfying watching Preeti fight for herself, instead of accepting herself as just ‘Kabir’s girlfriend’ who can be pushed around at his will. It felt like the kind of change every Indian woman needs in her relationships.
Many pretty-Preetis fall in love with kachra-Kabirs but in the end, it is also Preeti’s responsibility to stand up for herself and let Kabir know that he belongs to trash. Dolly turned around the character from “just a pretty girl” to “I matter too”.
Even in anger, even in an argument, even when making legitimate mistakes, violence is not justified. Everything isn’t fair in love and war every time. Violence is not fair in love. Manipulation is not fair in love. Abusing a woman’s father is not fair in love.
Preeti chooses to destroy herself in love, but Dolly Singh’s Preeti had other choices too. Her voice raised when Kabir threatened to slap her, she admitted openly that she had fallen in love with a cheap person, she protested when her father was criticized harshly, and she was not quiet after being slapped.
There is a quote by Elif Shafak that says, “If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven’t loved enough.”
Love has the power to change us all. But the real Preeti stayed the same; she continued to be a sweet, shy, and silent girl, who meekly accepted all kinds of nonsense. Let’s say she didn’t love enough. She did not actually fall for the guy who randomly came and kissed her cheek without her consent. Dolly’s reel version of Preeti loved enough and turned into a strong woman when she saw signs of toxicity. She spoke up for her own dignity, making Kabir Singh realise that he cannot get away with his aggression. She loved enough, but sometimes love is not as we had desired; respect is also vital.
May we have many more such Preetis.
Bhumika is an English Majors undergraduate at the University Of Delhi and at this moment actively working with an NGO, as a content department associate that works for normalizing menstruation and promotes menstrual hygiene. She read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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