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The Pregnant Woman’s MIL Said, ‘She Has Two Daughters. Now We Want A Son!’

This incident happened when I was working in the maternity ward of a hospital.. Being a proud mother of two daughters I never thought of having a son. It was shocking to see such bias. 

This incident happened when I was working in the maternity ward of a hospital.. Being a proud mother of two daughters I never thought of having a son. It was shocking to see such bias!

My husband and I  have always appreciated having two daughters. We never discriminated between boys and girls, but when I saw around, I could not believe that people nurtured such bias between boys and girls.

This incident happened when I was working in the maternity ward of a hospital. A lady with a full-term pregnancy came to me with her mother-in-law wearing a traditional dark-coloured black saree. She had something menacing about her.

Third pregnancy for a son!

The lady said, “Ma’am please examine me as I am having mild contractions since morning.”

I looked at her and asked her history for documentation. When I asked about the obstetrical history, she told me that this was her third pregnancy, had no history of abortions, and is blessed with two healthy kids.

Suddenly without thinking, I said ‘then why did you plan for a third.’ The mother-in-law got furious and raised her tone, “She had two daughters. Now we wanted a son.” I looked at the door and saw two very beautiful princess-like girls standing there.

These words of the mother-in-law kept ringing in my mind for a few days. I used to think about it, that on one hand we worship girls and on another, we do not even provide them the love every kid deserves. By thinking about this reality of Indian society, tears flowed out of my eyes.

She was then admitted and stayed in the hospital for five days. On the third day, she was blessed with a boy. Everyone in the family was very happy but that lady in black saree was on the 7th heaven with her happiness.

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My village treats women as machines for producing babies

I talked to the patient and asked her about how she is looking after the girls. She said that in her village, ladies are considered as a machine for producing babies. If a boy is born in the family they will be looked after very well, but if a girl is born they will be tortured.

Is this the reality of our society even when I see girls are doing well in all the fields? I realized I carried a mirror view of the world which was thrashed in a moment. I had decided that I am going to change the mindset of this mother-in-law, but a thought stopped me.

If  governments could not do it even after the ‘Beti Bachao Beti padhao’ campaign then being a simple woman what can I do to change her mind.

Attempting to change the mindset of the mother-in-law

My strategy was to approach her in a very polite manner. I waited for a chance and I got it. I made her comfortable and greeted her as Mataji: ”Your mother must have also called you her daughter, right? So, how many kids did your mother have?”

She was surprised and made her eyes more prominent to me. she said, “We were seven brother-sisters.”

My strategy was that time to approach that mother in law in a very polite manner. I waited for a chance and I got it finally, And I did it and said, “Par aap toh beti ko kuch nahi manati thi ,agar aap ko aapki maa bhi bachpan mein maar deti toh aaj aap yahi hoti ladke ka muh dekhne ke liye,chalo koi baat nahi kya fark padta hai. mataji”. (But you don’t value daughters, right? And if your mother would have killed you when you were an infant, you would have not been here to see the face of your grandchild, isn’t it? Anyway mataji, it hardly matters, right?)

I just got up and moved just thinking about leaving but a voice came, “Madam Ji, I made a huge mistake.” I turned back and It was unbelievable but my words finally went inside Mataji’s mind. She promised that day onward she will look after her granddaughters very well as her grandson.

I am blessed to have two daughters!

For me, this small incident changed my life. I started working for girls on my own, helping ladies blessed with daughters and counselling their families.. When I was blessed a second time with another daughter, that moment was the best moment of my life.

I used to pray to God to bless me with a daughter and the people who are praying to have a son, may God bless them with sons. As if a daughter is born to them they will make their life a real disaster. Nothing can be more beautiful than daughters in this world. I hope that others will also realize this very soon.

Image source: Still from short film The Choice 

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About the Author

Neelam Chand

feminist Health worker,working for betterment of healthcare services women's right and education. read more...

1 Posts

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