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I quit my job & felt 10 years younger! I wish I had always followed my heart. So, I wrote a letter to my younger self with 12 pieces of precious advice!
A couple of weeks back, I finally made the decision to quit my job and take a breather for a month. Almost everyone thought I was being impulsive and foolish. I finally took the decision to quit and the world looked brighter!
That got me thinking about how I could have saved myself so much trouble all these years by simply listening to my heart. Things would have been so different had I figured out all the things that I know today. And so, I wrote a letter to my younger self with 12 pieces of valuable advice!
I was warned that the job market was ailing, the economy was on a downward slide, a career break could be damaging, and that I would get addicted to staying at home and would ultimately give up writing entirely.
I was plagued by doubts but at the same time my situation at work was getting too overwhelming for me. I had a crippling writer’s block, my eyes burned, my head throbbed, I wasn’t too fond of my colleagues, and felt sick at the very thought of going to work every morning. I was exhausted!
And so one fine day, after a final discussion with my husband, I resigned. The moment I hit the click button and sent the email, I felt 10 years younger. I breathed easier and the world looked so much brighter!
And that got me thinking about how I could have saved myself so much trouble all these years by simply following my instincts. Looking back I realise that things could have been so different had I figured out all the things that I know today.
That’s when I wrote a letter to my younger self with 12 pieces of precious advice. So here I go!
Please don’t jump headlong into a toxic relationship just because it ‘feels’ right! Heed the warning signs. A man who professes undying love for you and is mean to you at the same time, is not someone you should be with. Even though it will break your heart into a million pieces, PLEASE break up with the jerk! You deserve so much better. And one day you will find someone who loves you the way you’ve always dreamt of being loved. You’ll marry him when you turn 25. Just don’t lose heart till then.
Fear is crippling and it can devour you completely. Fight it at every chance you get. Speak up in class, perform on the stage (my knees still quake at the mere thought of it), engage in debates, speak your mind and fight bullies. You’re so much stronger than you think. And there are countless challenges ahead of you (right from an unfortunate first marriage to health issues to career fiascos).
Keep the battle scars well-concealed. Not everybody is your friend. Stop discussing your private life with others. It might be therapeutic for you, but it eventually becomes fodder for gossip mongers. Discuss, engage and share…by all means. But know when to draw the line. That awareness is crucial.
Instead of working like a mule, learn to work smartly. One of the best examples is selective studying during exams. In the corporate world, ‘smart work’ will be your secret touchstone to success. It is ultimately the result that counts. So eyes on the prize girl!!!
You are blessed. Just know that you are living someone else’s dream life. And that is why when you focus on all the positives in life, you will find a lot of your problems fading away. Practice gratitude. You are healthy, you have a happy family, good friends and wonderful prospects. What more could you ask for?
Place yourself in someone else’s shoes before you react. I know it’s hard AF (I still have anger management issues). But just remember that an unkind word or act cannot be taken back. It doesn’t hurt to be empathetic. A kind act is more healing for you than it is for the recipient.
Don’t expect everyone to do what you expect them to do. Even people who are biologically programmed to love you can disappoint you. We are all driven by self-interest and when it comes down to brass tacks, be prepared to have your closest friends and relatives side step you. That’s life. Don’t expect it to be fair all the time.
I guess that’s why you’ve read so much through your school years! And wrote journals, and brainstormed with like-minded friends, and had such a mind-blowing collection of books! If you had access to all the web series that I have access to now, you would have missed out on reading so many life-changing books.
I have realised that whenever I’ve passed judgement on someone else, I have ended up doing the exact same thing at a later point in time. Don’t be quick to condemn or criticize. You don’t know their story. You don’t know the context. And similarly, you will constantly be judged for being a divorcee, for being a working mother, for not being in perfect shape, and for not being as successful as some of your peers. Just treat it like background noise and focus on all the good things you’ve got going.
As soon as you are on the other side of 20, you’ll find the kilos piling on. And in spite of your best efforts, your weight will continue to be a growing concern. Stop taking junk food NOW! Walk everyday, go to the gym, dance your heart out and keep healthy. And stay away from sugar. You’ll feel so much better about yourself. Your older self always regrets not having started earlier.
Every disappointment and disillusionment is worth its weight in gold. And even though they’re painful, they are necessary. Every setback will make you stronger. Every betrayal will make you wiser. And every failure will bring you that much closer to getting it right the next time. Your life will not always be smooth and you will flounder. But eventually people are going to come up to you and tell you how much they admire you for standing tall and taking challenges head on. And that’s when you’ll realize that you are exceptional in every way!
Don’t bother if someone thinks you’re a smartass. Go ahead and ask questions. Tons of them. Scratch the surface to know why you need to behave or do things a certain way. Break the status quo and do things your way.
Image source: Still from Yeh Hai Mohabattein
A passion for the written word. The intent to be heard. A laptop. And a dream to reach out to millions of women like myself. I am Mayukhi Chakravarty. A voracious reader, an introvert, a read more...
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