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I lost contact with my college friend over time. When I contacted her after one year, I realized she was struggling with her marriage.
My friend and I were both pursuing our Master’s degrees. During those college days, we used to talk every day on short coffee breaks after class. We shared our future anxieties like getting a job, getting married, whether to get married or not, etc.
Fast forward to 2021. I called her after almost one year. We were so busy in our own lives that we did not get time to catch up. Both of us got married, had kids, and now have other responsibilities. And our daily talks were reduced to once-in-a-year birthday wishes. Strange, isn’t it?
Coming back to our talk, I realized how my friend was trapped in a home with her husband, in-laws, and kids. She was not happy with her marriage, not permitted to do a job, fed up with managing household chores, and making no use of her Master’s Degree.
She was unable to handle the tantrums from her infant and toddler, and at one point she started taking out her anger and frustration on her kids. Being anxious about her behaviour, her parents arranged for a maid at her marital family for her help. She was mentally so weak that there was no hope or happiness in her words. I felt so broken and guilty that we were not able to keep each other updated on our lives.
This is just one incident that I know of. Likewise, how many others there were is an impossible task to judge. I always wonder, is it just for us, ladies, that we do not get time to keep our friendships. Or is it just about our priorities?
I have always seen all the men in the family are able to spend time with their friends. It is about time women prioritize themselves and their friendships!
Prioritize and love yourself, find time for your little happiness, and spend time with your friends. Do not get accustomed to the monotonous routine life throws at you.
Well, that was a wake-up call for me, you do not have to wait for yours. Get going, catch up with your loved ones and friends. Someone out there must be waiting for a friendly chat.
Image source: Still from Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna
Nidhi is from Kerala currently residing in Chennai. She is in research for the past 3years. She writes about anything that fascinates her and that includes societal issues, relationships, career, mental health, etc. read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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