Having friends of the opposite gender has been a problem in traditional society, but my platonic friendships have been some of the best I have had.
A woman’s relationship with a man often raises an interesting controversy: can they really just be friends? Do you know anyone who has been able to maintain healthy friendships without being influenced by their feelings or sexual desires? Here, let me draw your attention towards the beauty of platonic friendships.
Platonism is the kind of friendship/relationship in which the mental or emotional attraction is greater than the physical attraction.
Having friends of the opposite gender has been a problem with traditional communities for a long time. But let me remind you that you can be friends with anyone who shares the same vibe as you do. Many pairs of female and male stars have already broken the gender stereotypes by becoming great friends since decades , like Kajol and Shahrukh khan ; Alia bhatt and Varun Dhawan ; Leonardo Dicaprio and Kate winslet ; Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift ; Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas and so on.
For the silk to survive, the silkworm has to die. It is essential to break through gender norms in order to develop greater friendships.
Despite sociological diktats that warned that “boys and girls should be kept separate until their marriage”, my parents ensured that I attended a co-ed school and learnt to interact, converse, and inter-connect with all genders.
In small towns, it is not acceptable to have friends of the opposite gender, especially for women, and if they have, the fact needed to be kept under wraps. I was close to many boys at school, but we had to act like strangers after school hours, and had to pass by each other in public. That’s strange, isn’t it? A friend whom you can’t disclose outside school.
My early school years left me with the impression that it was normal to have friends only at school. As I went on to middle and high school, however, I was frustrated and annoyed by the fact that I had to avoid my friends knowingly. This may be what happens for romantic relationships, but friendship has no territorial boundaries, and this is why, my dear hypocritical society, you cannot split up real friends.
I began to refuse to conform, and got out of my comfort zone to start greeting boys at community functions, at private tutoring, on Facebook, and on birthdays. There were many people back then who found it aggravating, including the staff at school who weren’t used to opposite genders interacting closely.
When I was in ninth grade, the Principal of the school forced us students to give him our passwords and got into our Facebook accounts. I felt embarrassed and humiliated that my privacy had been invaded. I was questioned, I was slapped, my character was assassinated.
Our society actually does that. Breaking into your space, they call you out because you’re friends with the opposite gender, and they add the tag, “It’s for your own good”. In what world can it ever be fruitful to separate real friends, even of they are of opposite genders?
My bond with the group in school weakened over time as the staff made sure we never kept in touch during those years. School Staff had succeeded, I thought. But I became friends with a new batch of students after high school, and if people interfered, fought back against it.
These friends are still with me. Guys, I love you for being my bro-friends and bro-connections, and for supporting me through many things.
The power of friendship lies in its strength. Our society is toxic and does its best to keep opposing genders apart.
Friendships may fall apart for a variety of reasons, such as dating someone who doesn’t ‘approve’ of your buddies, parental pressure, misunderstandings, or relationship issues. You need to have trust and faith in your friend. Do not let society fuck up your bond.
The rule for platonic friends is simple.
There is a Netflix movie on such platonic friendship: The Kissing Booth. Though you can classify it as a romantic drama, I have always admired Elle Evans and Lee Flynn’s friendship.
The two set separate rules for their friendship that shaped how they bonded. They share a special bond, but it takes a toll on their other relationships, specifically with Noah and Rachel, their respective partners. The two of them work it out, and they accept that they can’t always be together. Their friendship takes priority over their personal relationships without interfering with their romantic ones.
Make sure you prioritize both – your romantic relationships and platonic friendships, and things will turn around.
Defend your friends in a crisis, and share your vulnerability with them as it will deepen and strengthen your friendship. This is even more vital in the case of opposing genders. Make sure you let your friend know that you cherish them this Friendship Day.
“Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond” ~~ Rumi
Image source: Instagram
read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, indivisual posts do not necessarily represent the platofrom's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Now Jaya had only one unfinished business-- to find a suitable boy for her daughter and arrange her wedding. Then she would be free from her responsibilities.
Now Jaya had only one unfinished business– to find a suitable boy for her daughter and arrange her wedding. Then she would be free from her responsibilities.
The Muse of the Month is a monthly writing contest organised by Women’s Web, bringing you original fiction inspired by women.
Somewhere in the endless quest for perfect skin, glossy hair, six pack abs, fitting in with the current fashion trends and presenting a flawless self to the world, we lose ourselves.
Truth is beauty and beauty is truth. Penned beautifully by the great John Keats, eons ago. Cut to modern times: beauty is as far from truth as possible.
PINK showed that it’s important to take a stand against abuse, irrespective of who you are, what you do, and what the people may say.
There was so much being written about PINK, that I had to watch it. I am glad I did. The movie is both – worth the time and the money, and relevant to the current discussion on Consent.
Let us not label someone a typical woman and be sexist towards ourselves - when it might just be her way of coping with her circumstances.
Let us not label someone a typical woman and be sexist towards ourselves – when it might just be her way of coping with her circumstances.
For a very long time, I was one of those women who maintained that I was not like a ‘typical’ woman. This is a sentiment that is so omnipresent, there is a universal saying now around it, “A woman is another woman’s worst enemy.”