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As soon as a girl is born, society begins its 'sacred' project of raising her to be 'in service' of the men in her life. And how else but by teaching her to accept disrespect?
As soon as a girl is born, society begins its ‘sacred’ project of raising her to be ‘in service’ of the men in her life. And how else but by teaching her to accept disrespect?
How many times have you heard someone dismiss a boy picking on a girl as “he likes her”?
How many times have you seen a girl being policed into becoming a people pleaser?
How many times have you seen female oppression being normalised to the extent that women readily view it as a part of their feminine identities?
How many times have you heard the blatantly misogynistic line, “Aurton ko sehna padta hai” (woman must tolerate/ compromise)?
Countless, isn’t it?
Let’s analyse the root cause…
Our society is built on the idea of conditioning young girls into being the patriarchy’s puppet that demands subservience, compliance and docility from them.
It teaches girls that their “NO” stands invalid because the patriarchy deems a man’s “YES” more worthy than a woman’s very identity.
The patriarchy compels young girls to believe that harassment, abuse, or any kind of disrespect they receive from men is acceptable. This concept stems from the contrasting ways in which boys and girls are raised in a patriarchal society.
This society teaches boys to demand respect, and hands them the basic right to be heard or to be seen, on a golden platter.
On the other hand, it uses a condescending and manipulative tactic to coerce girls into settling for less.
Girls are taught to silently endure whatever comes their way, whether it is casual sexism or physical and mental abuse.
Boys are even taught to soar into the sky and to aim for the best, while girls’ dreams are crushed deep into the earth’s core.
When a man questions or condemns even the slightest form of disrespect that comes his way, he is applauded for his apparent bravery and his patriarchal pedestal is further amplified.
When a woman expresses slight discomfort after being ruthlessly treated like an inferior, she is again invalidated into a deafening silence. She is shamed for “not adjusting enough” or for “overreacting” because, of course – a woman can never just react. Or the classic move is made, i.e. concocting a million ways of victim-blaming her without delay.
In a patriarchy, a man’s pedestal is never high enough, and a woman’s subservience is never docile enough. Sadly, this is the sexist paradox of our culture, and we need to change it.
If this isn’t misogyny, we don’t know what is?
Image source: a still from The Great Indian Kitchen
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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