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She was shocked as he said, 'Your father will get me a watch but would buy your cousin a gold chain? Is this how he treats his son-in-law?'
She was shocked as he said, ‘Your father will get me a watch but would buy your cousin a gold chain? Is this how he treats his son-in-law?’
Arjun and Prema didn’t have to struggle much since their parents readily agreed to their love and soon, the wedding preparations began. During the official family meeting, Arjun laid his opinion in front of everyone.
“Uncle, I am sure Prema has told you this, but I am just reiterating it. I earn well and so does Prema. So, I do not want a penny as dowry.”
Prema’s family was overwhelmed with joy and they termed her as a very lucky bride. Even if the girl was good-looking and earned well, it was the unwritten norm from the groom’s side to expect some things. Maybe a Fixed Deposit in a bank, a car or some gold jewellery.
However, after Arjun uttered this statement and poured his heart in front of the elders, Prema’s parents felt like she had chosen the perfect partner.
Their wedding was perfect. Arjun’s family insisted that they didn’t want to waste too much money or have a very lavish wedding.
A year later, Arjun and Prema attended her cousin’s wedding. Once they got home, Prema did not expect the big twist in her happily ever after.
‘Prema, I saw that your father gifted a gold chain to your cousin?’ Arjun asked her.
‘Yeah, you know he is like my own brother. And papa likes him a lot,’ Prema replied unaware of the explosion that would follow and hit her hard!
‘So your father doesn’t like me?’ Arjun threw a thorny question at her.
‘He likes you so much. Don’t you see how proudly he praises you in front of all our relatives?’
‘Then why hasn’t he got me any gift till now?’ Arjun raised his voice.
Prema did not expect this. Yet, subtly, she answered, ‘He gets us clothes, sweets and gifts. Like the watch and mobile whenever he and Ma visit us. What is bothering you?’
‘He will get me a watch but would buy your cousin a gold chain, is it? This is how he treats his son-in-law?’
Prema paused in silence and then continued, ‘Arjun, you insisted no dowry during our marriage. After a year why are you thinking my father should get you a gold chain just because he had gifted my brother? Do you realise it was a gift for his wedding?’
Arjun stood before her looking into her eyes, ‘Answer my questions now. Have I hit you at least once in this one year?’
‘No,’ she responded.
‘We have argued some times but have I ever pushed you out of the house?’
‘No,’ she said again.
‘Have I ever touched you without your consent?’
‘No’
‘Then? I have lived as the perfect husband and I am doing so. I have respected your family and never let you down before my family. Isn’t this trust enough for your father to get me a gold chain and bracelet? Does that mean he still does not believe me?’
Prema stood there frozen in shock.
It is shocking to see such incidents still prevail in our society. The percentage might be less, yet, it happens. What happens to the girl who thought her partner was the best human before the wedding only to find that he expects ‘rewards’ for his behaviour?
Is this a job where the employee tends to seek yearly rewards for his performance? Wouldn’t the girl’s parents be hurt after encountering such unexpected issues from their son-in-law?
So what is the expectation? Even if the boy stands in his decision not to take dowry, it is safer for the parents to shower him with gifts during the wedding itself? This way they can prove to him that they trust him? Sometimes such questions stand unanswered hoping to receive light from the future.
Picture credits: Still from Hindi TV series Anupamaa
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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