Over the years, your support has made Women’s Web the leading resource for women in India. Now, it is our turn to ask, how can we make this even more useful for you? Please take our short 5 minute questionnaire – your feedback is important to us!

No, Ji! We Don’t Want Dowry Before The Wedding, Only ‘Rewards’ For Treating Her Well!

She was shocked as he said, 'Your father will get me a watch but would buy your cousin a gold chain? Is this how he treats his son-in-law?' 

She was shocked as he said, ‘Your father will get me a watch but would buy your cousin a gold chain? Is this how he treats his son-in-law?’ 

Arjun and Prema didn’t have to struggle much since their parents readily agreed to their love and soon, the wedding preparations began. During the official family meeting, Arjun laid his opinion in front of everyone.

“Uncle, I am sure Prema has told you this, but I am just reiterating it. I earn well and so does Prema. So, I do not want a penny as dowry.”

Prema’s family was overwhelmed with joy and they termed her as a very lucky bride. Even if the girl was good-looking and earned well, it was the unwritten norm from the groom’s side to expect some things. Maybe a Fixed Deposit in a bank, a car or some gold jewellery.

However, after Arjun uttered this statement and poured his heart in front of the elders, Prema’s parents felt like she had chosen the perfect partner. 

Their wedding was perfect. Arjun’s family insisted that they didn’t want to waste too much money or have a very lavish wedding.

But it was all too perfect to be true…

A year later, Arjun and Prema attended her cousin’s wedding. Once they got home, Prema did not expect the big twist in her happily ever after.

‘Prema, I saw that your father gifted a gold chain to your cousin?’ Arjun asked her.

Never miss real stories from India's women.

Register Now

‘Yeah, you know he is like my own brother. And papa likes him a lot,’ Prema replied unaware of the explosion that would follow and hit her hard!

‘So your father doesn’t like me?’ Arjun threw a thorny question at her.

‘He likes you so much. Don’t you see how proudly he praises you in front of all our relatives?’

‘Then why hasn’t he got me any gift till now?’ Arjun raised his voice.

Prema did not expect this. Yet, subtly, she answered, ‘He gets us clothes, sweets and gifts. Like the watch and mobile whenever he and Ma visit us. What is bothering you?’

‘He will get me a watch but would buy your cousin a gold chain, is it? This is how he treats his son-in-law?’

‘I only expect rewards for my good behaviour!’

Prema paused in silence and then continued, ‘Arjun, you insisted no dowry during our marriage. After a year why are you thinking my father should get you a gold chain just because he had gifted my brother? Do you realise it was a gift for his wedding?’

Arjun stood before her looking into her eyes, ‘Answer my questions now. Have I hit you at least once in this one year?’

‘No,’ she responded.

‘We have argued some times but have I ever pushed you out of the house?’

‘No,’ she said again.

‘Have I ever touched you without your consent?’


‘Then? I have lived as the perfect husband and I am doing so. I have respected your family and never let you down before my family. Isn’t this trust enough for your father to get me a gold chain and bracelet? Does that mean he still does not believe me?’

Prema stood there frozen in shock.

What are these expectations?

It is shocking to see such incidents still prevail in our society. The percentage might be less, yet, it happens. What happens to the girl who thought her partner was the best human before the wedding only to find that he expects ‘rewards’ for his behaviour?

Is this a job where the employee tends to seek yearly rewards for his performance? Wouldn’t the girl’s parents be hurt after encountering such unexpected issues from their son-in-law?

So what is the expectation? Even if the boy stands in his decision not to take dowry, it is safer for the parents to shower him with gifts during the wedding itself? This way they can prove to him that they trust him? Sometimes such questions stand unanswered hoping to receive light from the future.

Picture credits: Still from Hindi TV series Anupamaa

Liked this post?

Register at Women's Web to get our weekly mailer and never miss out on our events, contests & best reads! Or - get a couple of really cool reads on your phone every day - click here to join our Telegram channel.

Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!


About the Author

17 Posts | 28,297 Views

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

Doing Good is #BeautifulInDeed

All Categories