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Love is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves, and others. Why then are we so afraid to love, to accept our own flaws and those of others?
“He loved constantly, instantly, spontaneously, without thought or words. That’s what he taught me. Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell. That was his gift.” — Christopher Moore, Lamb.
Love. A simple word, yet complex in reality. I love how the author, Christopher Moore, calls Love a gift in one of his quotes about love. It truly is the best gift you can give to yourself and others.
A pure and spontaneous emotion. Yet many find it exhausting and challenging to love others. They are afraid to open their minds and place their trust in someone else, open their hearts to being vulnerable and love, lest they get hurt.
But love is an essential aspect of our integral being. It is the magic key to the door that has several gifts in store. Where there is love, there is trust, faith, respect, patience, hope, kindness, forgiveness, and truth.
The key begins with the complete acceptance and love for the self. Self-love is not selfishness; it is kindness to yourself. Doesn’t charity begin at home? So start looking for love from within. Hug and love yourself every single day. Including those scars and flaws, some visible, many invisible.
But there’s a catch. Love without being attached, even to yourself. Since there is a thin line between kindness to yourself and narcissism. Too many people are consumed with loving themselves such that they cannot see beyond their noses.
Narcissism and love cannot coexist. Narcissism loves to pick on the flaws in others and publicly ridicule them. It is sadism to gloat over someone’s weakness, disability, and failure and raise yourself up at the cost of someone’s sorrow.
Every one of us is flawed and broken. We make mistakes day in and day out. Maybe we can try to put ourselves in someone’s shoes and understand their journey. Maybe we’ll discover and learn something new; better still experience Love in an unexpected place. As someone wise rightly said, “It is nice to be important, but more important to be nice.”
Love is freedom. To love wholeheartedly without any expectations or attachment is the most liberating experience. Freedom from the aggrandising importance of the self. Freedom from bias and the fear of loving others different from us.
Love sees everyone as equal. It is cognizant that we are all related, worthy of love, and construct humankind. Love is the essence of life, and one must never stop loving because of traumatic experiences.
It doesn’t mean we put on blinders and love everyone. It means adopting a holistic outlook and judging others from an objective space. With prudence, empathy, patience, and even hope. What’s there to life without love and hope after all!
Love is a courageous act in times of hatred, and it manifests in words and deeds of kindness and forgiveness. So love in all consciousness.
Image credits: Fernanda Reyes/Getty Images via Canva Pro
First published here.
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Tina Sequeira is an award-winning writer and marketer. Winner of the Rashtriya Gaurav Award in association with the Government of Telangana, Orange Flower Award by Women’s Web, India's leading website for women, read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Mostly Normal is a book of innocence, longing, filial love, angst and acceptance, encapsulating a gamut of human emotions within its lightweight edifice. The book touches the human heart and will stay with you.
Some books enthral you till the last page, and then there are those that you stop reading after turning a few pages. Some books are a one-time read, while you carry some books with you long after you have read them. Then, once in a while, a book hits you so close to home that you find it difficult to slot into any category.
I will put Priyadeep Kaur’s Mostly Normal (BookSoul Reads, 2022) in this last bracket.
At a little less than hundred pages, Mostly Normal is a testimony of the power of words to inspire, irrespective of their length.
Most women do not get to live their lives the way they want, on their own terms. So why should they be tied down in their old age?
Every morning, while dropping the kids at the bus stop, I find a grandfather waiting with his granddaughter. I see him again when I fetch the kids. This has been the pattern for the last few years.
He is seen actively participating in his granddaughter’s activities, from morning and evening walks to attending her parent-teachers meeting, sending her for extracurricular activities to even planning her birthday party. He is admired by all. He is appreciated for making himself useful in his old age. People rave that the doting grandfather is doing his duty towards his children and grandchildren. The much-admired grandfather is also a widower, having lost his wife years ago to chronic disease. It’s also to be noted that both his son and daughter-in-law are working parents.
Every day, the onlookers appreciate his sense of duty and dedication. They say that this is how the elderly should keep themselves occupied. They should bring up their grandchildren while their children go off to work.
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