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From those who supported me to the ones who tried to suppress me, here's why I am grateful and thankful to all the women in my life.
From those who supported me to the ones who tried to suppress me, here’s why I am grateful and thankful to all the women in my life.
I am sorry I am a little late with this, but on the occasion of International Women’s Day, I need to talk about the women who helped me become who I am.
Let me start with my grandmother – a strong-willed woman who ran her house with an iron-clad hand. She was the only child to her parents and was born before independence. Her parents educated her, taught her the tricks of their trade and handed their business to her before they died.
She raised her children while handling the business and taking care of the family. My grandmom taught me to fight and to never bow down if I believed in myself.
But it was my mother who raised me to be strong. A docile woman, she gave me all the opportunities to study and managed to take care of all the work. She also convinced my grandmother to let me go abroad for my work before I got married. My mom didn’t force me to make any decisions that I might regret later. Thank you, maa.
Then, there are my teachers who played a major role in my education and helped my personality develop over the years. My friends – who taught me that all work and no play would make me a dull girl. We played, we fought and we learnt a lot growing up together.
The other women I am thankful for are my colleagues – some of them are inspirations to me, some taught me professionalism. And some taught me great lessons about backbiting and gossip at work.
My roomies, the ones who taught me to deal with my homesickness. They were the ones who taught me how to live and how to make my choices. Some taught me how to dress up and do my make-up and even paint my nails! Then, there was my best friend who taught me that no matter how bad the day seems, she will always bring a smile to my face.
Moving on to women who didn’t support me but still taught me several lessons.
The first one would be my mother-in-law. She wanted me to be a machine who would cook, clean and take care of the whole house while maintaining her job and give away all my salary to my MIL.
I am also grateful to my sister-in-law, who is everything I don’t want in my brother’s wife. She taught me what not to be – someone who preaches what they don’t practice. However, the biggest lesson she gave me was not inciting my mother against my brother’s wife as she does. She has also been staying at her mother’s home for the past five years while not letting me visit my parents even for five days!
My conformist neighbourhood aunties – who add fuel to the fire lit by my SIL and who ensure that I suffer every day of my life. Thank you for helping me decide where not to spend the rest of my life – being around all the negativity that destroys my soul. I am still here, but soon, I will fly away.
And I am also thankful to all the Mrs. Malhotras and Mehras and Sharmas, who didn’t leave any chance to criticise my parents. They all criticised my parents for spending money on my education instead of getting me married young. Also for sending me abroad to fulfil my dreams instead of forcing me to bear children.
A big thank you for all these women for making me who I am today!
Picture credits: Still from Amazon Prime series Four More Shots, Please!
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The plight of Indian women's mental health often goes unnoticed. Co-founders Vivek Satya Mitram and Pooja Priyamvada conceived the idea of the Bharat Dialogues Women & Mental Health Summit to address this.
Trigger Warning: This contains descriptions of mental health trauma and suicide, and may be triggering for survivors.
Author’s note: The language and phraseology used are not the author’s words but the terms and narrative popularly used for people living with mental illnesses, and may feel non-inclusive. It is merely for putting our point across better.
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