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Dear Papa, Thank You For Letting Me Speak Even When You Didn’t Agree With It

Posted: March 3, 2021

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My dad has always let me speak my mind and feelings even when he didn’t agree with them. Here’s why I feel lucky to be his daughter!

It was my father’s birthday last month. And every year, I have penned down my love for him on his special day. Instead of that, this year, I went ahead and apologised to him and told him the things I couldn’t tell him as a kid. You know those things that we couldn’t tell our parents due to the fear of acceptance or because it might hurt them?

However, I felt that these were the things that needed to be put out in the open and addressed. So here’s is what I wrote this year.

‘Today, I want to acknowledge the fact that our relationship is changing with time. You are always going to be the person I will love the most. My love and respect will not change for you. However, at the same time, I want to apologise for all the times my words hurt you.

‘While I am not sorry for talking about facts, or certain opinions or what I feel about certain things, I am sorry that my opinions hurt you. Simply because they are different from yours. What you think about something will always affect me. But I can’t be someone who will blindly follow anyone’s path. I want to create my own path. That’s all.

I know I am not always right

‘I am not saying I am always right or that I don’t make mistakes, I do, just like any other human. Nobody is perfect in every single aspect of life and expecting that from anyone is not fair. It isn’t fair on them and neither is it fair on you.

‘All I want to say is that I will always be your little girl, papa. At the same time, I am not so little anymore. I am not perfect and quite honestly, I don’t want to be perfect for anyone. All I want is to do what is right for me and my family and do what makes me happier as a person.

‘If I make mistakes, I’ll simply learn from those mistakes and experiences. You won’t always be able to protect me every time. I understand that being a father who loves his children you want to protect us from everything while accepting that we are grown-ups now.

‘As the dynamics of our relationship change with time, instead of protection, I’ll now need your support, guidance and blessings. I assure you I can handle anything as long as I have your love, blessings and support. With your support, I can take any challenge that comes my way.

I am proud to call you my papa

‘In the end, I want you to know that I am thankful to you for being the way you are with us. For giving us the freedom to speaking our minds even you didn’t agree with what we were saying. I can proudly say that you have never stopped us from voicing our opinions. You have always listened to what we had to say.

‘There are a lot of people around me who are the same age as I am but are unable to speak to their parents as openly as we can. They can’t voice their ideas or opinions in from of their parents. I feel lucky since you allowed us to do what our heart told us. Papa, I am proud to be your daughter.’

Your’s
Riya

Why can’t you just support them?

So this was what I wrote and posted on my Facebook wall. The reactions I got to this made me realise what a terrible society we live in. We say we want our daughters to be liberal and independent women who speak their minds. But when a woman tries to do that or bring about a change, they are criticised for simply voicing their thoughts.

My question to society is, ‘are you even up for the change to happen?’ Because society sure is hell-bent on stopping all the women who want to implement any change.

My only request is that if you can’t support your wives, sisters, daughters or friends, at least don’t discourage and oppose them. If you don’t want to be a part of what they’re doing, stay the hell away! 

Don’t pressurise them by telling them what society expects from them or what you expect from them. They know what they are getting into. When others say something mean, it is easy to ignore it. However, when someone you love says something like that, it hurts like hell! It doesn’t stop us, it merely hurts and you tend to lose all the respect you held for them.

Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movie Angrezi Medium

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